


Ambrose Noir: Demons

by NerdyAdjacent



Series: Ambrose Noir [2]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: AU, Adultry, Alternate Universe, Anal, Angels, Demons, Fallen Angels, Film Noir, M/M, M/M Sex, Sensitive themes, Sequel, Suggestive Material, Supernatural Elements, Violence, ambreigns friendship, ambrollins - Freeform, first person POV, one overly snarky demon possessed Dean Ambrose, please read Ambrose Noir, this story took a weird turn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2017-01-30
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:34:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 27,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7003480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyAdjacent/pseuds/NerdyAdjacent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a tingle of dread sneaking up my spine for some unknown reason and the demon was suddenly surging forward and I knew if it weren't for the sunglasses, my eyes would be black. The smell of brimstone and sulphur filled my nostrils as my sense of smell heightened. My eyes scanned the room, easily distinguishing between Normal and Abnormal through my demon eyes.</p><p>Something big had just entered The Powerhouse Bar</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, I'm a glutton for punishment, but hey, whats one more multi-chapter fic?
> 
>   _Y'ALL MISS ME! - F_
> 
>  Alright, calm down Frank. 
> 
> Here's part one: [Ambrose Noir](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6518176/chapters/14913520)

“Happy six month anniversary, Deano.” He said as he rolled to land a kiss on my still half asleep mouth and lay his head on my chest. 

Six months. Had it really been that long? Seth Rollins had officially been the longest steady relationship I'd ever had. Well, that wasn't saying much. Before him, the longest I'd actually dated someone was about three days. Can't say I blame them really, I'm kind of a handful. But Seth? Seth handled me just fine...if you know what I mean.

_Guh, gag me. It's bad enough I'm stuck trying to control this demon while you two fuck, you gotta make double entendres on top of it?_

Shut up Frank. Wait, do you watch us?

_If I told you no, would you believe me?_

No.

_Than you already know the answer, don't you?_

Yeah, he's still here too. I'm kind of stuck with him for the foreseeable future...or forever. Whichever comes first. 

_Hi readers! I know who comes first!_

FRANK!

_All I'm saying is a little extra protein…_

AS I WAS SAYING, things were good. Granted, I was still wanted for questioning by every major security agency you could think of, the Abnormals were in the open now, and protests had started popping up on both sides of that particular situation, but things were good. Needless to say, the Normals weren't exactly happy to find out all those things that scared them as kids were real and the Abnormals were pissed because they were outed without being consulted.

Oh, and they all blamed me for it. I guess if anyone had to be the scapegoat here, I was as good a guy as any. It made getting work a shit ton tougher, that's for sure.

Whatever, I still had Seth so everything else could fuck off for all I cared. I rolled onto my side and wrapped my arm around him, pulling him closer to me. “Anniversaries are for losers.” I said with a cheeky smile I knew would get a rise out of him.

“Well, I guess I'm just a loser then, aren't I?” He replied without missing a beat and kissed me on the tip of my nose. 

That made the warm feeling in the center of my chest spread to my whole body and I sighed, just so happy to be right here in bed, right now, with him. “Yeah, but you're my loser.”

He snuggled closer and I could feel his warm breath against my skin before he kissed me where my collarbone and neck met. “And what's that make you?”

I opened my eyes, feeling the demon shudder beneath my skin at that simple gesture. I'd gotten a lot better at controlling it in every other aspect of my life and our relationship, except when we were having sex. That's when I relied heavily on Seth's ability to take control because if I let the demon loose...well, I didn't want to chance it. 

_What about me? I help!_

Oh yeah, beat it Frank.

_You owe me a Julia Roberts movie for this, bucko._

Fine! Scram!

Seth was looking me straight in the eyes, smiling in that way that made the demon shift again. “Oh yeah, that's right.” He said, continuing off his previous question. “You're my demon.” 

Just based on the way he said that I knew my eyes had gone black. This was about the point when things could go one of two ways. Seth would take control and keep me from hurting him or anything else, or the demon would get impatient and force Seth's hand. The latter had only happened twice, forcing Seth to literally immobilize me while we had sex. If it weren't for the screaming need to conquer and dominate him, hurt him, make him submit, it might be kinky to be tied to a bed. 

But he took it all in stride. Just one more reason we worked so well together. He knew it wasn't me that wanted to do those things, but it made it no less disturbing. I had apologized profusely each time, making sure I held him close and told him how much he meant to me. He would simply kiss me on the nose - something he was very fond of - and say _I know_. 

“Stand up, Dean.” He said in that commanding tone that made the demon squirm, but ultimately obey. 

At least we weren't going to have another incident. Seth's downstairs neighbors were scared there was an animal loose up here the first time the demon took over completely. I don't remember much after he tackled me, but I came to growling and tugging at bedsheets he had used as makeshift rope with my arms and legs spread to each corner of the mattress and Seth sucking my dick with a smile on his face. The memory made me moan involuntarily because, damn, that was the best sex I had ever had. Seth had said similar later, once the demon had calmed down. 

I obeyed his command, crawling out of bed and stood waiting as the demon curled under my skin in anticipation. My heightened demon senses honed in on him, watching every move he made, noting the subtle changes in his skin as it flushed, the sweet smell of his own arousal, the sound of his heartbeat and breath speeding up. But he was calm when he pulled himself out of bed. I noted somewhere in the back of my head that he was only wearing my boxer shorts, but at this point I really couldn't care. In fact, as far as I was concerned, he was wearing too much clothing. 

“Off.” I growled at him, indicating towards the underwear he was wearing in the breathy ethereal tone the demon made when it was fully aroused. And it, and I, we're fully aroused. 

I shuddered in anticipation when he shook his head, letting me know I wasn't in control of this situation, he was. “Face the wall, palms flat.” He said instead. 

I did as instructed and placed my palms against the wall, waiting for what he might do next. This was how he worked, making me hold something or touch something to ground me until he felt satisfied I wasn't going to hurt him. It was his way of centering me, making me concentrate on something other than the demon fighting for control. 

“How you doing, Dean?” He asked at my back, running light touches over the curve of my spine. He was gauging me, seeing if he could continue, making sure I was alright. I sincerely appreciated every time he did this.

“Fine.” I breathed out through gritted teeth, still able to keep the fighting demon in check. 

“Good.” He laughed and shifted so he was under my arms and between me and the wall. His face was less than an inch from mine and he was watching me with those big brown puppy dog eyes that drew me to him in the first place. The demon surged again and it took all my strength to hold me position, body shaking from the effort. He needed to do something soon or there was going to be a problem. 

As if sensing this, He put his hands on either side of my face and lovingly caressed my cheek with his thumbs. “You're beautiful, do you know that?”

“I bet you say that to all the demons.” I managed, though my teeth still remained gritted from effort. 

He gave a quick chuckle and pulled my lips to his in a deep kiss. I growled into his mouth as he explored and tasted me at his leisure, his tongue slipping through my clenched teeth and allowing me to relax into the pressure of his lips on mine. My hand that had been against the wall found its way into his hair and pulled, forcing an unexpected hiss from him, though he did moan into the tug. 

However he stopped the kiss and looked me right in my black eyes, face stern and tone commanding. “Let go and put your hand back.”

The demon relinquished its hold after a few seconds where I had honestly thought my control was gone completely. I put my hand back against the wall and growled my frustration. I was so unbelievably hard in my pajama pants that it hurt, but oh how it hurt so good. 

“Seth, _please_!” I whined when I felt his hand trail down my bare chest and still at the edge of my pants. I was stuttering incoherently now, trying to keep everything under control, but my senses were in overdrive. The bastard smirked at me. Honest to god _smirked_ at me.

“Don't move your hands. “ he said and I groaned in frustration. He made a move to slip out under my arm, but thought for a second. “Try not to put holes in my wall this time.”

I glanced over to my left at the ten holes in the wall left from the last time we tried this and smiled at the memory. I was going to say something about it but he was already gone and I whimpered. I heard him moving from somewhere behind me, a drawer opening and closing, and clothing shuffling. When he returned, I felt his chest against my back and he kissed between my shoulder blades. I could feel his hardness against my backside and I tensed. I knew he wouldn't do anything, but the thought sent me on edge. He moved to his knees, taking my pants and underwear with him. He bid I step out of them and he tossed them aside. 

Again he slipped under my arm and kissed me again. This time his hand found my cock and squeezed, forcing a half gasp half growl at the feeling. He started to stroke me and I could barely breathe through the feeling of his long, nimble fingers working their magic on me. He liked torturing the demon...and subsequently me. “If you don't hurry up, you better tie me down again.”

Another smirk. He had a condom and lube in his other hand and quickly tore the foil pack with his teeth and rolled it onto me. Next came the lube, pouring some into his hands, but rather than lubing me up, he reached behind himself and began preparing himself for me. He was moaning and gasping and I couldn't help myself. I kissed his neck, hands still braced on the wall behind him, and bit his shoulder. He yelped and pushed me back before grabbing my face and kissing me hard.

“Ready?” He asked, breathy and shallow. 

The demon was frantically pushing to take over, but I held it back. “Fucking, yes!”

“Hands on the wall.” He instructed and turned around, lining me up and pressing back. I slid in slowly, inch by glorious inch, groaning at the warm tightness of him around me. He stilled for a few seconds, allowing himself to adjust, before telling me to thrust. 

I did just that and the demon swelled, growling and snarling into his ear. His hand was on my hip, directing my movements. My arms were tensing and twitching to touch him, but I managed to keep them in place. That didn't mean I couldn't touch him with other parts of my body. I licked his shoulder, tasting the salty sweat on his skin, nibbled on the shell of his ear, and nestled my head on his back.

“ _SHIT_ , Dean! My wall!”

I hand even realized my fingers had gone through the surface of his bedroom wall again. At least they matched the other ten. Maybe he could claim it as some sort of performance art, because if what we were doing wasn’t art than I didn't know what was. I might even feel bad about it if I wasn't balls deep in his ass and the demon wasn't frantically pressing me to move faster. I did just that and Seth seemed to forget about the wall too, pressing his face against the surface with his tongue lolling out as I moved. I smirked and kissed the side of his face before biting at the shell of his ear. I loved when I could make him forget his own name. 

“You close, Seth?” I growled, my voice calm and ethereal even if my arms strained to touch.

“Fuck, yes...YES…”

He came first - take that Frank - shuddering and moaning some garbled version of my name as he spilled against the wall, adding another element to our performance art masterpiece that was his bedroom wall. A few more thrusts and I came to, the blinding white pleasure of a demonic orgasm taking over and the next thing I knew I was on the floor, sprawled out on top of him, and the both of us laid there for a long time just trying to catch our breaths. The demon, now sated, calmed and relaxed, relinquishing that pressure under my skin and I felt more like myself again.

Once I finally came to my senses, I kissed the side of his smiling mouth. “Happy six month anniversary, Seth.”

_Can I come out now?_


	2. Chapter 2

The Powerhouse Bar. 

I still hated that fucking name, but it was starting to grow on me. It also happened to be where I lived when I wasn't with Seth. Roman, out of the goodness of his heart - while charging me a, frankly, ridiculous rent - had converted his secret room in the back of the bar into an apartment of sorts. It suited my purposes. I was a simple man, I didn't need frills and specialties. A bed, a mini fridge, and a television was pretty much standard for me. Besides, with the demon now taking up residence in my body, most of that was arbitrary anyway. And that sucked.

I could sleep, sort of. I wasn't a heavy sleeper to begin with, but now I could clock maybe an hour when the demon retreated enough to allow it. Food wasn't really necessary either, but I wasn't giving up that simple pleasure. Oddly enough, the demon was pretty fond of Pop Tarts, but only the unfrosted strawberry kind. There's no accounting for taste I guess. Alcohol had no effect on me anymore, which also sucked. Something to do with my liver not really being mine and the demon heals all damage and blah, blah, blah. I stopped listening after the words ‘you can't get drunk anymore’ were uttered in my head. 

There were advantages to this whole demon thing though. Immortality and not aging being pretty high on the list. But, I knew, despite the obvious advantages of not dying and staying thirty forever, there were also the disadvantages of watching those around you succumb to their own mortality. It could be from old age or not, but there will be a time when Seth and Roman won't _be_ anymore. 

I tried not to dwell on that and enjoy the time I had with them now. Even if Roman does still scowl at me every time I walk through the bars front doors. I loved pissing him off. So did the demon. 

_You mean that eye roll thing he does?_

Yeah, it's pretty fun, isn't it?

_You should ask him what the back of his brain looks like._

I smiled to myself. I really should one of these days. 

At any rate, I pulled my worn out the Philadelphia Flyers baseball hat down a little further and adjusted the sunglasses on my nose. Ever since the vamps, and more inadvertently, myself, made that broadcast six months ago, Romans bar had gotten decidedly more… _Normal_. People had caught wind of the reputation it had as an exclusively Abnormal establishment which attracted the curious and bitter alike. I couldn't tell if he loved the sudden burst in popularity or hated it. His face had pretty much one setting, so it was hard to get a read on him most of the time. 

Problem was, with more people came a greater risk of someone recognizing me and turning me into the Feds or some similar organization. Last I heard the bounty on my head was a quarter million worldwide. In all honesty, I'm surprised Roman hasn't done it himself sometimes. Guess he likes me more than he lets on.

“If you're trying to be incognito, you're doing a piss poor job of it.” He said to me when I finally managed to get a seat at the bar after a pair of twenty-something girls in mini skirts moved on to where some poltergeist dance-off had broken out. Show offs. It was a whole lot of smoke and mirrors anyway. Some of the Abnormals liked the attention, others didn't. Those were the ones causing problems nowadays. 

But it wasn't just the Abnormals either. “You got protesters again, Ro.”

He sighed and shook his head, “I know. I sprayed them with the hose yesterday. Fucking assholes. It's like a goddamn infestation. If it's not them, it's the ones looking for an Abnormal experience. Do you know I caught one of the poltergeists yesterday giving a BJ in the women's bathroom to a dude dressed as Egon from Ghostbusters?”

I couldn't help myself. “Well, he ain't afraid of no ghosts.”

Roman glared hard at me, but there was a hint of a smile under that brooding exterior. “That's not funny, Ambrose.”

_Hahaha! That was fucking genius!_

“Look on the bright side, Ro,” I offered after I'd managed to tuck my self-amused smirk away. “At least you're finally getting the bar you always wanted, right?”

He shook his head and offered me my usual and a German beer for Frank. It’d become our little routine. I may not be able to feel the effects of it anymore, but I still enjoyed the lukewarm hoppiness of cheap American beer. I could take or leave the outlandishly expensive German brew, but Frank liked it and he deserved some simple pleasures too.

_Aw, thanks man. Failure to Launch later?_

No fucking way.

_But...you said…_

I have my limits, bro. We watched it two days ago and I barely made it through without attempting to suffocate myself. 

_Who you think you're trying to fool? These lovely readers will attest to its cinematic and cultural value as a…_

“We're not watching Failure to Launch!” 

Roman raised an amused eyebrow and this time there definitely was a smirk on his face. “Frank again?”

I took a long sip from my beer in an effort to try and hide my embarrassment at blurting that out loud. “I've seen more romantic comedies in the past six months than I care to admit…” I leaned in close, “I'm worried I'm starting to like them.”

_AH! HA! I knew it!_

A sly grin and a shake of his head is all I got from the big Samoan on that subject. “Where's your better half?”

I smiled warmly at that. I liked that people knew we were together. I liked the idea that we could somehow be this normal relationship when everything around us could be so fucked up. I liked all the cheesy bits that I had made fun of what felt like ages ago. I liked Seth. 

“He's at the gym.” I answered him, that warm smile still painting my face. 

“Well tell him I have his copy of Madden. Football games aren't my thing.”

I nodded that I would and took another sip of beer, the German this time. Seth and Roman had become good friends these past few months, bonding over videogames and technology that I just didn't understand. But, the two most important people in my life got along, so I couldn't be happier. 

“You got anything for me, Ro?” I asked, finally getting to the point. “I need a case or something.”

Though I know it annoyed him to no end that I came looking for work here, he didn't give me a smart ass response this time. “Sorry man. Just the usual groupies and Feds who think they're undercover.”

Ugh, fine. I rolled my eyes this time, out of exasperation more that annoyance, and plopped my head on the bar. I'd become more popular than I'd ever, even in my worst nightmares, want to be. Women and men constantly asked for me, news reports were always showing some woman claiming she was having my demon baby, there were constant reports of sightings...like I was fucking Sasquatch or Elvis or something. Fucking popular media. I wish it would all just die down. 

_Dean…_

Not now Frank, can't you see I'm wallowing in self pity?

_No, Dean, we have a problem._

I lifted my head from the bar and looked at Roman. The expression on my face made him furrow his brow in confusion. “What's the matter?”

I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn't answer, not right away at least. There was a tingle of dread sneaking up my spine for some unknown reason and the demon was suddenly surging forward and I knew if it weren't for the sunglasses, my eyes would be black. The smell of brimstone and sulphur filled my nostrils as my sense of smell heightened. My eyes scanned the room, easily distinguishing between Normal and Abnormal through my demon eyes. 

“Dean?” Roman asked, but his voice was distant and the demon was unconcerned with him right now. Something was wrong. Something big had just walked into the Powerhouse. 

_Another Demon. If you can sense him, he can sense you. I think he's looking for you and you don't want to mess with him. Trust me, Dean._

Who is he?

“Balor.” A hand was jutting out towards me before I had a chance to react. “Finn Balor.”


	3. Chapter 3

I looked at his hand like it might just jump up and bite me. For all I knew, it would. The demon was damn near pulsating with him being in such close proximity. Besides, I have a weird thing about - 

“Oh, that's right. You don't like shaking hands unless deals are being made. I do apologize.” He said, completely unfazed and even with a small, apologetic smile playing at the corners of it bright, kind eyes before nonchalantly putting his hand into the pocket of his grey, tweed pants. 

Did he just...did he just read my mind or am I finally losing it? In this bar, completely possible he did. Didn't matter. Who wore an outfit like that to a bar like this? Fine grey pants were only outdone by the black dress shirt that didn't have one wrinkle in its finely pressed material - except where it was rolled at the sleeves - and tie, a silver to match the grey, undone just enough at the neck to make him seem ‘relatable’ or ‘trustworthy’.

Neither things I found either relatable or trustworthy, even if the demon shifting under my skin was frantically pulled toward him in a magnetic sort of attraction is never felt before. All the more reason to be wary.

Frank, who is this guy?

Frank?

Where the hell did he go?

“It's so nice to see a man such as yourself out and about.” He said. Again, that smile creased the corners of his eyes. He had an accent, definitely not American. Irish? “Is there a place we could sit and talk?”

I looked back at Roman who was watching the man keenly, but he didn't seem alarmed by him. Roman's senses were pretty on point when it came to dubious individuals, but he didn't seem unnerved in the slightest. 

That didn't mean I wasn't. “Dude, I have no idea who you are.”

“I'm Finn.”

“Yeah, I got that much.” I replied with an annoyed quirk of my eyebrow. “But what I don't get is why you felt the need to interrupt my friend and I.”

His smile fell slightly and his eyes definitely took an apologetic shift. “Oh, I am sorry. I just assumed you were here alone.”

“I'm taken.” I said quickly, getting the distinct feeling he was now coming onto me. A strange feeling considering how the demon pushed me towards him in ways so different than how it surged toward Seth. 

“I do apologize then.” He conceded with a slight tilt of his head. He reached into his pocket and I tensed for a split second before he produced a business card and held it out for me. “Another time, perhaps?”

Though hesitant, I took it. With one last nod to both of us, he took his leave and disappeared into the busy bar. I inspected the card, black on one side and red on the other. In pristine white lettering was the words ‘Balor Club’ and a phone number. 

Where the hell was Frank?

_I'm right here, where I've always been. Why?_

Who was that guy?

_What guy?_

The guy I was just talking to. Finn Balor.

_Never heard of him._

You seem like you did a minute ago.

_Are you feeling alright, Dean?_

I looked up at Roman who seemed like nothing weird had just happened. Granted, lots of weird things happen at the Powerhouse, so he's probably just used to it. “That was weird, right?”

He looked at me funny, a quizzical quirk of his head. “What was?”

“That guy handing me his business card and walking off.” I answered, now thoroughly confused myself. 

“Picking up men in my bar, Ambrose?” He laughed. “Don't let Seth find out.”

“But...I...he...you saw him, right?” I stammered, a slight panic starting to set in. Was I going crazy or had no one else actually seen this man? That includes the demon in my own head!

Roman placed his large hands on the wood of the bar and looked down at me like he always did, annoyed and slightly put out. “Look, it's a busy bar. I can't watch you all the time.”

“But you...you were standing right there.”

“No I wasn't.” He said with a suspicious look down at me. “I just got here. Dean, are you okay?”

Alarmed and worried for my own sanity, I stood and left without saying another word to Roman. I could feel him watching me as I pushed my way through the crowd. Something had just happened. Something big that no one else saw but me. 

I felt a little better outside in the cool air. Maybe that's what I needed to clear my head. I began walking with no particular destination in mind but with the small knowledge that I would be meeting Seth in about an hour for dinner. His idea. He apparently likes anniversaries. Which is fine, but now I had this on my mind.

How had no one else seen this man? 

How had the demon in my own head not have any clue I was talking to another person? 

Why did the demon as an entity and not a consciousness feel that magnetic pull towards him?

Who was Finn Balor?


	4. Chapter 4

“I don't understand” Seth said as he flipped the card over and over in his hand. “This guy just walked up to you and handed you this card?”

I nodded and wrapped my arm around his waist as we walked. It was tough to find a place that we could celebrate our anniversary - wow, that was weird to say - without fear of someone turning me in, but I had a plan and steered Seth accordingly. It was as if he didn't even notice, too busy inspecting the small card in his hand to realize where we were headed.

“Funny thing was that neither Frank nor Roman seemed to have seen him.” I said, “But Frank was really antsy before the dude spoke to me. Told me to watch out.”

_Whatever man, there was no Finn Balor at that bar._

We walked for a few more minutes in silence. He was still trying to piece it together in his brain, and looking adorable doing so. The way he twirled the red and black card in his nimble fingers, the way he scrunched his forehead, the way he…

“You realize this is just a white card, right?”

What?

“What?”

“There nothing on this.” He said, still looking confused. “It's blank. Some guy came into the bar and handed you a white piece of nothing?”

I snatched it from his hand. Nope, it was definitely red and black, number and name clearly visible. “It's red and black, Seth. Says ‘Balor Club’ on it with a phone number.”

He smiled sympathetically, like I had finally lost it, and ran a hand down the side of my confused face. “Maybe it's a demon thing, but there's nothing on that card.”

Then he kissed me and some of that confusion subsided because, well, he's a very good kisser. Plus, in true Seth fashion, he gave me a solution, one I strangely haven't considered because I'm a stubborn son of a bitch when I want to be...which is always. 

“Just call the number.”

Call the number? I internally face palmed. Why didn't I think of that. 

I nodded and he kissed me again. “See, problem solved.”

“Problem solved.” I repeated, though I didn't really believe it. I looked away from him for a moment, afraid to admit how the demon pressed toward this Finn guy like a magnet. How was I supposed to tell my _boyfriend_ that another dude made me feel...different. I shook it off for now and pocketed the card. 

Slipping my arm around him again, we walked in comfortable silence for several amiable minutes. 

“Where are we going anyway?”

I looked at him and smirked. “It's a surprise.”

“I thought we were going to dinner?”

“We are.”

“Where?”

I chuckled, “I just told you it's a surprise!”

He frowned, “We're headed to the Powerhouse. You know I don't eat that food, Dean.”

“Relax, Seth.” I laughed. “We're not headed to the bar...we're headed to the roof.”

He stopped and looked at me. “Why?”

I took his hands in mine and gave them a reassuring squeeze. “Would you just trust me?”

He grumbled a bit, but nodded. 

I kissed him on the forehead and took him by the hand. We went in the back entrance and up the set of stairs that could definitely use a fresh coat of paint and maybe a safety inspection. I'd bring that up to Roman, but he'd probably call me a pussy and walk away. 

At the roof entrance, I stopped and pulled a bandana from my pocket. I bid he turn around and he raised an eyebrow at me. 

“C’mon, Seth.” I said. “I'm trying to be romantic here.”

“Looks more like you're trying to be kinky.”

I smirked, “Maybe later.”

I twirled my finger for him to turn and he did. I placed the bandana over his eyes and tied it behind his head and spun him back to face me. I couldn't help but smile. He looked so adorable with his face moving like he was trying to see through the fabric, the way his hands were held out in front of him, reaching for me, the way his lips curled into a small scowl of annoyance. “Beautiful.”

He smiled and I leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips, grinning at the shiver that he couldn't contain. 

Carefully, I led him through the door and a few steps out onto the roof and told him to stay. 

“Why? Where are you going?” He was a little panicked, but did as asked. He didn't have much of a choice. 

I got into position and smiled wide. “Ok, take off the blindfold!”

He did and his mouth fell open in shock. In the center of the roof, and with the help of Roman's cousins, I'd set up a table - complete with tablecloth - a candle and rope lights, and several bags of the Chinese takeout that he loved so much. It wasn't much, but with the city light twinkling behind me, it made for a breathtaking view. Granted, I only had my eyes on one breathtaking view and he was standing right in front of me. 

“Dean…this is…”

“You like it?”

A smile tugged his mouth up and he ran to me, launching himself into my arms and kissing me deeply. I'd take that as a yes. 

_This is so beautiful! I knew those romantic comedies were rubbing off on you!_

Shut up Frank.


	5. Chapter 5

Seth made it sound so easy. Just call the number. Simple as that. Call the weird ghost number on a business card that only I could see. 

_If it makes you feel any better, I can see it even though I don't remember the guy._

It really doesn't. But hey, at least that's something. I'm not completely off my rocker. 

It kept repeating in my head all through dinner. 

Just call the number.

Just call the number.

Just call the number.

I mean, hell, it was repeating in my head even as Seth and I had sex. The distraction at least kept the demon in check more than usual and Seth barely had to work at keeping me controlled. 

Now he slept at my side in my little closet of an apartment, snoring softly in that cute sort of way made that warm feeling in my chest swell and the demon swirl just enough to be felt. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was in love with this adorable dork who called me to a coffee shop 6 months ago to help him with a vampire problem. 

Weird.

Worth it. Everything I went through, I'd do it all again for moments like this. I'm such a sap. Maybe Frank was right about the movies.

_Told you._

But that phrase was still in my head as I twirled a strand of his hair gently around my finger. 

_Would you just call the fucking number already? Jesus._

Someone's in a foul mood. 

_Well, shit, you've been repeating the same four words in your head for the last two hours. Call the fucking number and be done with it. And while you're at it, you still owe me a Julia Roberts movie so we're watching Runaway Bride when you're done._

Do we have too?

My hand raised on its own and slapped me.

Jesus Christ Frank, okay! I hate when you do that. 

_Well if you'd just cooperate…_

Gently, so not to disturb Seth, I climbed out of bed to my little chest of drawers and grabbed a pair of pajama pants, slipped on my sneakers and a shirt, grabbed my phone and the mysterious business card, and quietly slipped out of the secret room into the bar proper. It was always shockingly quiet and calm when no one was here. Well, it was 6:30 in the morning; even drunks are asleep by now. Roman would have gone to bed a few hours ago, so even his booming presence wasn't here, which made the place seem small. At any rate, I climbed the stairs to the roof and sat in one of the chairs still set up from dinner the night before. 

I always liked the city so early in the morning. There was just enough light from the sun to reflect off the buildings, but not enough to really give it that big feel a lot of places like this had in full daylight. It softened all the hard edges.

After taking a moment to enjoy the view, I knew it was time to make this call. I dialed the number and waited. I seriously considered hanging up after the first ring. After the third I thought maybe I had called too early. Of course I had...it was 6:30am! I should hang up and - 

_“Hello Mr. Ambrose.”_ He answered in that Irish accent. Finn Balor. _“I was wonderin’ when you’d call”_

I honestly wasn't quite sure what to say. I was hoping he wouldn't answer. “Yeah, um, hi.”

_“I bet you're curious as to what's goin’ on, correct?”_

“Understatement.” I clipped. “Why could no one else see you?”

_“Well, I'm surprised that you, as a demon yourself, aren't able to alter perception.”_ He said, almost amused. _“It's one of the perks.”_

“So, you're a demon?”

_“Of course!”_ He laughed. _“What else would I be?”_

“Some weirdo at a bar.” I answered. “I'm still not convinced you aren't.”

_”Yes, well, I can assure you, i'm not.”_ he said, apparently getting down to business. _“Mr. Ambrose, I own a very exclusive club. I'd like you to join.”_

I laughed, “A club? What, like a demonic secret society.”

_”Yes.”_

“You're serious?”

_”Mr. Ambrose, please meet me.”_ He said, the amusement all but gone. _“I'd like you to meet others like yourself. You could learn so much from others of your kind. It would be good for you.”_

“My kind?” I repeated. “How many are there?”

_”I will tell you anything you want to know at 3. You'll find the address on the card.”_

Wait, on the card. I looked at it again. Sure as shit, an address had appeared just under the phone number . “How’d you…”

_”3 o'clock. I look forward to seeing you.”_

That was that. I had no chance to answer because he hung up, his word final. I didn't appreciate that, at all. 

_You call yet?_

Yes.

_Shit, he did it again, didn't he?_


	6. Chapter 6

So couldn't wait for three. I was anxious, the demon was anxious, and even Frank seemed on edge.

_I am not on edge!_

See what I mean? 

I hadn't told Seth. For some reason I felt like maybe he should be kept in the dark on this one, at least for now. I didn't know what this Finn Balor, or his demonic club, was all about and I'm of the mindset that the less info you give your enemy, the less they can use it against you. Not that he was my enemy...yet. But I sure as shit didn't trust him. 

_“Are you sure you're okay?”_ Seth asked through the phone. He was obviously concerned, which I get. I did sort of hurry him out of my little apartment this morning. _“You seem like there's something wrong.”_

“Yeah, I'm good! Really!” I tried to put on my ‘everything's normal’ voice, which he usually saw right through. I'm sure now was no different. I could even picture his face: a skeptical eyebrow raised, nose scrunched, lips turned down in a frown. It was adorable. 

_“Dean…”_

“I'm fine, Seth. Really.”

There was a drawn out sigh on the other end of the line indicating he didn't really believe me but he was done trying. _“Listen,”_ he said after a beat. _“I'll be back around 8. We can hang out then, okay?”_

I found myself nodding, then realized he couldn't actually see me, and responded with a clipped “Okay.”

We said our goodbyes and I disconnected the call with a breathy sigh of relief. 

_He knows you're up to something, dipshit._

I know.

_What are you gonna say when he asks?_

I have no idea.

I couldn't think about that right now. I stuffed the phone in my pocket and looked at the address that magically appeared on the businesscard one more time. I had lived in this city a long time, long enough to consider myself fairly knowledgeable about the buildings that are perched on main drags. However, I don't remember ever seeing this place, and I'm fairly sure I would. 

The word mansion was probably an understatement. Standing three stories, the brick structure exuded wealth - not that I would know anything about that. The building had an impressive amount of windows, large French doors, and well manicured grass that stood out against the harshness of the city. 

You ready Frank?

_Well, being as he'll probably block me out, yeah totally._

Fair enough. 

_Be careful Dean. I know demons - being as I am one - and they're tricky._

I will. I'll have to be.

I mustered my courage and approached the door, fist poised and ready to knock, when the door opened and There he was, smiling. The demon under my skin immediately surged and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself grounded. 

He looked just as put together as before in a black sleek, tailored suit that made my jeans, tee shirt, and leather jacket combo look downright homeless. 

“Mr. Ambrose!” He said happily and held his hand out to me. I stared at it then back to him and he slowly put it in his pocket and cleared his throat. “So good to see you again.”

“Call me Dean.”

He smiled and stepped aside, “Please, come in Dean.”

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket and sauntered past him, making sure to throw some extra swagger into it. I wasn't expecting the absolute opulence of the inside of this building. There was white marble everywhere, gold bannisters, and a crystal chandelier that hung down from a spiral staircase. I let out a low whistle and walked up to the statue standing in the center of the foyer, a large bronze angel in battle armor with sword and shield in hand. 

“Michael the archangel.” He said at my side. The demon pressed toward him again and I dug my nails into my palms inside my jacket. “Beautiful isn't it?”

I eyed him. “I thought angels and Demons were enemies?”

He laughed. “Depends on who you talk to.”

I tried to keep my face impassive, but a slow smirk grew on his face and again the demon surged, much stronger than before. It was a heady thrumming in my ears and a pressure behind my eyes. 

“You really should stop fighting it.” He said.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” I answered, trying to shaking out the fuzziness.

“The demon.” He chuckled. “You and it are one being. You should just accept it.”

I laughed humorlessly. “I'm fine.”

“Let me guess, the demon is pressing to get to me? Am I right.”

I shot a look at him. “How'd you know?”

“Demons are drawn to other demons.” He said with a laugh and began walking. I followed automatically, unsure where he was leading me but unable to not. “We're stronger when together. That's why I started this little club. You of all people should know that there are a lot of things out there that are dangerous. I'm just trying to keep me and mine safe.”

“So what's your interest in me?” I asked as we turned a corner into a hallway. “What makes you think I want any part of this?”

He looked at me as if I had just asked him the stupidest question in the world. “Why wouldn't you?”

“I'm more of a lone wolf type myself.”

“I think you could benefit from my help, Dean.” He said and opened a door. 

I stepped in automatically and stopped in my tracks. There was a party going on in a large ballroom complete with impressive decorations of black and gold everywhere the eye could see. Now I really felt underdressed. The demon under my skin pressed forward so forcefully I couldn't hold back any longer and let out a low growl against my better judgement. 

“That's it.” He said. When I looked at him, his eyes were completely black. “Let it out.”

I don't know where the strength came from, but I pushed past him and back out to the hallway, gasping for breath. It felt like my heart my jump out of my throat any second thanks to the merciless demon under my skin trying to force control. My head was pounding and my eyesight was beginning to blur at the edges. I didn't want to lose control, not here. 

I felt him behind me. “Dean?”

“I-I gotta go.”

“You're welcome to stay.”

Again the demon surged and I grunted at the effort it took to keep it under control. Seth. I needed Seth. 

“I can help you just as much as Seth can.” He said and placed a hand on my shoulder. 

I shrugged him off and snarled, the demon closer to the surface then it had ever been before. I had to brace myself on the wall, not even caring that my fingers easily tore through the flimsy material. “STOP reading my mind! I don't NEED you!”

He backed off, “Alright. Follow the hallway and it will lead you to the door.”

I didn't even hesitate, pushing off and walking as fast as I could without actually running. 

“You'll be back, Dean!” He called after me. “And I'll be waiting!”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Id really like to get back into this now that I have some space cleared. It's been a while, so I may be rusty.

_What the hell happened?! I can't control this thing!_

In all honesty, I have no idea what happened, or even how I got back to my apartment. I recalled blowing past Roman with a snarl and stomping straight to my little hole in the wall, closing and locking, even barricading, the door - I'm not quite sure if that was for my own wellbeing or everyone else's. The demon was barely controlled now, pushing and surging against every defense against it I could manage, all to get back to Finn. It _wanted_ Finn, fuck it even _needed_ him and it wouldn't take no for an answer. 

The pounding in my head and chest was verging on unbearable and if I lost complete control and Frank was unable to reign it in...I didn't even want to think about what could happen. What the fuck was I going to do?

_You need to call Seth! NOW! It's pushing me out!_

Yeah, that's what I needed. Seth. But I had never been this bad before, even when I lost control with him. What if I hurt him? I was dangerous right now, I knew that, and the demon was trying everything to get control of me. I needed to break something, anything to release this energy that was bubbling over under my skin. That something happened to be the bed. And it wasn't like I struggled to lift it, I managed to send it, the box spring, and the heavy metal frame into the wall with one hand. It did absolutely nothing, and it was getting worse. 

“Dean?” Roman called from the other side of the door. He sounded worried, which worried me because Roman was always so level headed. “You alright, man?”

“Go away!” I screamed, my voice not that ethereal double speak it had been when the demon surged with Seth, but a monstrously deep tone straight out of hell itself. I threw the mini fridge clear across the room and into the door where I knew he was standing. I could see him in my mind's eye jumping back at the impact. That was new. He was reaching for his cell phone and I knew he was going to call Seth, I could even hear each individual number being pressed. 

Scream. I needed to scream. Screaming? Was I screaming? Yes. Yes I was. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, and not in my own voice, but here I was screaming for all I was worth. 

“Seth, you gotta get to the bar.” I could hear Roman damn near plead with seth. Hell, I could even hear Seth's worried reply, clear as a bell, through the phone, behind a wall, covered with a mattress, twenty feet away. 

_“What's wrong?”_

“It's Dean, he's lost it.” Roman answered, and he was way beyond worried at this point. He was verging on barely controlled panic, I could smell it. “He ran in here, eyes blacker than I've ever seen them, growling at me. He barricaded himself in his apartment and is throwing things around and screaming in a voice that definitely isn't his. I don't know what to do, man.”

 _“I'm on my way!”_ Seth answered hurriedly and I could see him grabbing his things and bolting for the door of his office. _“Try and calm him down!”_

Roman was rolling his eyes. “How am I supposed to do that, Seth? He's freaking the fuck out! This isn't my department, it's yours!”

_“Tough shit! I'll be there in ten minutes”_

I was screaming again before I could even get a grip on it, but this time they were coherent words, ones I would never speak on my own. “Do not fucking come here Seth Rollins! I will kill you!”

Then I - it? - started going into detail about just how the demon planned on ending Seth, which I'll spare you, but the demon meant every word of it. I had hoped Seth would heed the warning, but he of course wouldn't.

“Did, uh...did you hear that?” Roman asked in a voice so much smaller than I had ever heard him speak. He was terrified now, backing away from the door slowly. I had never seen him so scared. I ripped the tv off the wall and began smashing it into the floor over and over until I was left with nothing but broken pieces of plastic in my clenched fists. 

_“Ten minutes, Roman!”_ Seth said frantically. 

That's pretty much when I blacked out. 

…

…

…

_Dean?_

Frank?

_Yeah, it's me. Did you finally lose control?_

I-I don't know. I can't see anything, hear anything, feel anything. Jesus Christ! Am I dead!?

_No, bro. You aren't dead. The demon took over._

What do you mean the demon took over? Seth is on his way! The fucking demon was pretty explicit about how exactly it was going to murder him! What did Finn do to me, Frank?

_I'm going to be 100% honest with you, I have no fucking clue. In all my years as a demon, I've never seen this._

Great. That's super comforting. How do I get back in control?

_Uhhhhhhhhh…_

Awesome. Wonderful. Fucking glorious! Now Seth and Roman are stuck with a raging demon with powers of which I have no idea what they are or what they're capable of, it's already threatened the man I love, and it's all consuming thought is to get back to Finn Balor! 

_Ok, you need to calm down._

CALM DOWN! 

_Yes! Calm the fuck down! I have a goddamn idea! And you're probably going to question me, but do it later. Okay?_

An idea? 

_Okay!?_

Yes! Okay! Fucking do it! 

…

…

…

It felt like something was tugging at my consciousness, pulling me from that place where I could perceive nothing to a space where that utter rage was back, where I could feel the cloth in my hands, the weight on my chest, and the sudden stiffening of my body as the real me got control back. 

I realized pretty quickly that Seth and Roman had probably tackled me to the ground and were now struggling to restrain me in some way. I suppose the surprised look on their faces when the real me was suddenly calling their names was warranted. Roman had three gashes across his face - probably made by my own fingernail marks - while Seth's nose was bleeding pretty profusely. I had done that. I had hurt him. Them. 

“I'm fine.” I tried to say, but my voice was scratchy and hoarse when I spoke - probably from all the screaming and whatever that weird, demonic voice did to the vocal chords. “Guys, it's me.”

I guess they finally realized I had stopped struggling mid way through trying to tie my hands together with shoelaces, a pair of my sneakers still dangling from them. Not exactly sure that would have helped, but gotta give them props for creativity.

“Dean?!” Seth was looking right at me, searching my eyes for some sort of confirmation that I wasn't going to brutally tear him apart limb from limb. That pressure under my skin to destroy seemed to have subsided, though I could still feel the demon swirling impatiently just be leash the surface. I felt like I could breathe again. 

“Yeah. That's my name.” I said and laid my head back with a wet thump. Why was I wet? “Why am I wet?”

Roman shrugged. “I thought holy water might help.”

“Did it?”

“No.”

I was laughing then at the sheer ridiculousness of everything that had transpired, though none of it was funny. The next thing I knew, Seth was draped over me, hugging me so tight I felt like he might suffocate me. On the upside, it wouldn't be a bad way to go.

“What the fuck happened?” He sniffed into my ear. 

I wrapped my arms around him, my sneaker still dangling from one of my wrists, and held him close. “Are you alright?”

“I'm fine, thanks for asking.” Roman snipped sarcastically and pulled himself to his feet.

I pulled Seth away from me and looked them both over one by one. Though they seemed bruised, there didn't seem to be any serious injuries. Thank god. Then, “We need to talk.”


	8. Chapter 8

“I knew it! I knew you were up to something!” Seth was screaming at me in the middle of my trashed apartment, a sneaker still dangling from my wrist. Roman left a few minutes ago to give us ‘space’ but I knew both of them weren't happy with me, he was just hiding it better. I don't really blame either of them for being pissed off. “How could you walk into something like that without backup?! Or at least _telling_ me!? Shit, Dean, you could have at minimum told Roman!” 

I should have told him what I was doing, he wasn't wrong, but I thought I was protecting him. Which, as it were, Finn now knew about him anyway - thanks to his freaky demon mind reading thing - so there wasn't much point in keeping him in the dark anymore. 

However, his yelling wasn't helping this fucking hangover like headache I was nursing. “I'm sorry.” I groaned back at him, which he obviously didn't appreciate. “But I didn't trust him, especially with how powerful he is. Hell, he made Roman forget he was even talking to me _while_ he was talking to me, Seth!”

“That's the point here, Dean!” He seethed and crossed his arms over his chest. “Look what he did to _you_!”

I was on my feet now before I could hold myself back. The demon was beginning to press again. Having just had an episode where I almost _killed_ both he and Roman and wouldn't have batted an eyelash, I didn't think pressing my buttons was the wisest move on Seth's part. “You need to understand something here.” I growled. “Finn Balor is dangerous and I was fucking _protecting_ you.”

“Put your black eyes away, you don't scare me.” He snapped back at me, unfazed. I didn't realize they'd even gone black, which wasn't a good thing with the demon so recently at the surface and raging. “Finn Balor wasn't the one in here screaming about how he was going to eviscerate me, was he? If we had known this was a possibility, we could have made some sort of perpetration!”

“Like what, Seth?” I countered, now exceedingly curious just how they were going to stop me when their last method of restraint involved shoelaces. “You act like I knew this was going to happen!”

“Did you?”

My mouth fell open. Did he just accuse me of doing this on purpose, of letting the demon take over like that? What did he take me for? How could he, of all people, accuse me of this. 

“You know what, I'm out of here.” I snapped and pulled the shoe free from my wrist with one swift tug as I made to move past him, not really sure where I would go but definitely sure I needed to leave. 

He stepped into my path. “Answer me. Did you know?”

I was growling at him, my hands clenched into tight fists at my side. Now I was pissed, and so was the demon. When I spoke again, it was that deep demonic voice from before and he took half a step back in surprise. “Get. Out. Of. My. Way.”

“No.” He said, voice shaken but stern. I had to give it to him for holding his ground, but after what just happened I didn't trust myself. Which was a founded assumption as I didn't even have to touch him to push him back and into the opposite wall. These new little powers had been cropping up since that meeting and I did not like it, but I said nothing and just left him standing there with his mouth agape. 

It was better this way, for now. I easily brushed past Roman who tried to stop me from leaving the bar and walked out into the fading daylight. I needed to think, to get my head on straight before I could face Seth again. 

Actually, what I needed was Frank. He'd gone unusually quiet since my episode and he had some serious explaining to do. I wanted to know what he did, how he did it, and why the _fuck_ I didn't know he could do that before?

_You never asked._

Frank? 

_Who else? I'm the only voice in your head, Dean._

You sound tired. 

_Yeah, well, that took a lot out of me._

Ok, you heard my questions. Start answering. 

_Look, I told you before that I wasn't always a demon. I was made to be something a bit more powerful. I fell in with the wrong crowd, things got out of hand, and I became one. I never liked it, this constantly having to possess someone. Most just let the demon take over, but it's tougher with someone like you._

That's was just vague enough to be convincing, Frank. What were you?

_Promise not to freak out?_

No.

_Fine. I was an angel._

An angel? Are you kidding?

_Why would I kid? You think I'm some lowly demon who would prefer to drink German beer and watch Pretty Woman?_

I assumed so, yeah.

_Well, though that may be the case now, I wasn't always like this. I used to be a warrior in the angelic army. When the rebellion happened, I chose the wrong side and was cast out. Just because I've grown tired in my old age, Dean, doesn't mean I've lost my power._

Ok, what did you mean that it's tougher with someone like me? 

_This might sound strange, but you have the uncanny ability to control the demon primarily on your own. It's rare, and it usually means I'm a visitor in someone's head as opposed to the other way around, but it happens. You're stronger than you think you are, which makes you more dangerous if the demon takes over. It gets frustrated, it begins to rebel, it needs to release energy. That's why when you have sex, it calms down a bit, even if you're in control. But you're different, more powerful that any of my previous incarnations, I mean, for being an asshat._

Thanks Frank. So what are you saying?

_I'm saying, maybe you do need Finn._

Fuck that! Look what that dude did to me by just staring at me!

_Yeah, which makes me think he's hiding something. But he blocks me out every time, so I can't get a read on him._

Maybe that's why he blocks you out. Maybe he knows you'll figure him out. 

_Maybe._

My phone was buzzing in my pocket before I could continue the conversation with Frank. Assuming it was Seth, and not really wanting to talk to him right now, I turned the phone off without even looking at the number. Perhaps I should have looked at the number, because not twenty seconds later it began buzzing again. I was sure I had turned it off, and when I looked at it it looked like a power down phone except for the buzzing in my hand. The demon was impatiently swirling under my skin, which meant this could only be one person. Bastard could control phones now?

“What?” I said as indignantly as I could muster. I wasn't happy he was contacting me after everything and I had no desire to speak to him, but douchebag was able to control my phone so I figured he could contact me anyway he wanted if he so chose. This was just easier.

There was a soft chuckle on the other end of the line. _“Hello to you too, Dean.”_

“Finn, I'm not exactly in a good mood right now.” I snarled. “What did you do to me?”

_“I helped you see what you're capable of.”_

“No, you turned my demon loose on the people I care about!”

_“Who? Seth?”_ he laughed. _“Seth Rollins isn't worth your time, and the demon showed you that. Someone like you needs to be handled differently.”_

“Seth handles me just fine, dickwad!” I yelled into the phone, earning looks from people on the nameless street I had wandered down. “Someone like me, doesn't need someone like you!”

_“I beg to differ.”_ He said, calm, cool, and collected. _“You need me, and you know it.”_

“Fuck off.”

_“I'm not going anywhere.”_ was his vaguely threatening response before the call disconnected. 

Now I was pissed off AND confused! I crushed the phone in my bare hand and threw it into the nearest trash can.

This Finn Balor was going to be a problem.


	9. Chapter 9

I wandered the city for hours, until it was well past midnight and the only ones out were drunks, whores, and the things that went bump in the night. Yet, no matter what I did, I always ended up back at The Powerhouse. I didn't go into the bar proper, not quite ready to face Roman. I needed to process everything, I needed to be alone, and Mr. Sunshine and bubbles Reigns wouldn't allow me to do that. So I headed for the roof.

Roman, or his cousins, had taken the table and chairs away, leaving me to sit on the edge of the building to look out at the twinkling lights of the city. It was nice to be alone, but I found myself wondering if I would survive a jump from three stories up. I knew I would, and that bothered me somehow. Besides, I couldn't leave Seth. I needed him despite everything.

Maybe that's why I felt him approach more than heard his footfalls. Roman must have saw me come in and called him. Bastard.

“Dean?” He said, worried. I hated that sound in his voice, especially when I put it there. He walked up to me carefully and when I made no move to even look at him, he planted himself right next to me on the edge of the roof. “Are you okay?”

“Not sure.” I answered truthfully. Because, shit, I had done some things I regretted and got a lot of information in the last few hours that would send a normal person to the nut house. He took a deep breath and placed his hand on mine and squeezed. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the meeting with Finn.”

“I know.” He said.

I finally looked at him and cringed at the worried look on his face. “You were right to be angry.” I sighed. “I mean, I damn near killed you...I think. I blacked out after I lost control. The point is, it wanted to do everything it said it was going to. I couldn't forgive myself if one day it makes good on its threats. I love you too much to deal with that.”

“What did you say?” He asked, a crooked smile beginning to lift one corner of his mouth and a new twinkle in his eyes. I realized then that that was the first time either of us had said those words to the other. In all honesty, I didn't expect it to be me. 

“I said, I love you.” I felt the smile creeping into my own lips when I said it. It felt good...right. But there was still that nagging tug in the back of my mind that knew the closer we got, the more danger he was in. Especially knowing that danger comes primarily from my own inability to control the thing inside of me, despite what Frank said. 

He squeezed my hand tighter and leaned in to kiss me gently. “I love you too. Even if you can be a monster hell bent on destroying me in some very colorful and imaginative ways.”

He was laughing, I didn't find it amusing. “That's not funny.”

“It's a little funny.” He chuckled and carded his hand through my hair, causing a shiver from the demon. 

I had to take his hand and hold it tight to keep it in check. “For the record, I didn't know that would happen when I met Finn. I didn't know what would happen. Turns out, I'm more than meets the eye.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” I began and kissed his palm, just to ground myself to him a little bit more. “Frank, did not start out a demon…”

I recounted to him everything Frank had told me and he listened with rapt interest. I told him about the call from Finn, about what he said, about how badly the demon wanted him, how Finn hung up with a thinly veiled threat. By the end of it, I was beginning to feel overwhelmed, anxious, and guilty. Yet, his hand remained firmly in mine, so I guess that was something. 

“I'm worried he's going to try something.” I said after a beat. “I'm worried he's going to hurt you to get at me.”

Seth watched my face for a few seconds before looking out towards the city and I thought I had fucked this up again. Leave it to me to ruin the best thing that had ever happened to me. Then, he smiled and I felt that warm feeling in my chest swell to new heights. 

“You know, we've been through a lot together.” He said and looked back at me. “I think we'll be alright.”

“But, what if -”

He cut me off with a kiss. “How about you let me help you deal with this for once instead of trying to do it all on your own. Isn't that what love is?”

I couldn't argue with that. 

“Hey! You two!” We both turned to find Roman glaring at us with his hands planted on his hips and a scowl on his face. So, pretty much how he always looks. “The fucking neighbors think they're are jumpers on the roof. Unless you plan on taking the plunge, could you please step away from the edge.”

“I really hope you were never sent to talk down a jumper.” I said and pulled myself to my feet before offering my hand to Seth to help him up. 

“I'll have you know I was an excellent negotiator.” He countered. 

I wasn't quite sure what to say to him when I walked toward him, but thankfully Roman, always the wordsmith, made it so I didn't have to. “You good?” He asked, placing his large hand on my chest. 

I offered him a ghost of a smirk. “Yeah, I'm good.” Then I gestured to the three marks on his face that I had put there several hours prior. “Sorry about...you know...that.”

This was how Roman and I worked. It was different with Seth, but with him The less we could delve into our feelings, the better. We didn't operate that way. 

“It's not the worst thing that's happened to me today.” He said with a shrug, his half assed way of telling me ‘I forgive you’. 

“What could possibly be worse?” Seth asked him. 

“You ever clean up after two shapeshifters have sex?”

“No.”

“Consider yourself lucky.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, part of this is verging on Non-con. Just a heads up.

Back at Seth's apartment - because, mine was trashed and he offered - he was barely through the door before he was on me, pressing himself up to my chest and kissing at my neck. While the demon was loving this attention, I knew I was in no position to control it properly and had to push him back slightly. But the demon was swirling under my skin, pushing me to kiss him, to touch him, to drive him back until his back connected with the wall of his living room. He was undeterred, his nimble fingers were toying with my belt buckle without our lips ever parting. 

I was beginning to feel the effects of the demon unlike I had ever before. My skin was on fire and every touch was amplified ten fold, that need to conquer him was stronger than I had ever felt it, and the demon was pushing against my skin for me to do things to him I would probably regret. I had no idea if I could control it enough to keep him safe, so I pulled away. 

He was staring at me, breathless and a little shocked. “What?”

“Maybe this isn't the best idea.” I said, my voice different, dark and low and surprisingly inviting for just telling him no. These new little nuances of the demon were sprouting up in the most unexpected places. 

He smirked at me and the demon shuddered. “Do you want me?” 

“Yes.” I breathed and oh god I wanted him so badly right now. My jeans were unbearably tight and the blood that should have been fueling my brain to say ‘hey, maybe you should stop’ had all traveled to my groin. 

“Then what's the problem?”

I knew by the look on his face my eyes had gone black again. I didn't bother answering, instead crowding him against the wall again and grabbing a fistful of his hair and his jaw to hold his head still while his eyes widened in surprise. That low and dark voice escaped again and I decided that yes, I wanted him right here and right now. “Do you like tempting the demon?”

“Dean, let go and step back.” He tried to gain control like he had so many times before, but I never relinquished my hold. This was a different version of the demon, one that didn't care what Seth said or how he said it. Funny thing was, I was still in full control, and that scared me to death because I _liked_ it.

I pressed our lips together in a fierce kiss that left him melting into my touch as my body continued to press him against the wall. The hand that was tangled in his hair was traveling down his chest to his crotch, grabbing it roughly and eliciting a moan of pleasure from Seth I had never heard before. Even his smell was different. There was still that mix of sex and arousal on him, but it was stronger with me in control. 

“You like this, don't you?” I whispered into his mouth and he swallowed hard. I already knew the answer. 

“Dean…” He murmured. I pulled away enough to get a good look at his face, already wrecked and blissed out with swollen lips parted as he panted his need. I absently wondered if this is what he wanted all along and handled me the way he did for my benefit alone. The thought was gone when his hand again found its way to my fly and I quickly grabbed it and pinned his arm to the wall, tutting softly. 

“Not this time, Seth.” I said. “Tonight, I'm taking control.”

There was the briefest of moments when I saw the hesitation in his eyes, where he didn't know what he should do, I could practically hear his thoughts. He was torn between letting me do this or trying to get back in control. Maybe I was hearing his thoughts because I suddenly knew exactly what he wanted me to do to him and how he wanted me to do it.

I looked him directly in the eye and grinned because in that moment I knew the demon had won this battle and Seth was going to enjoy every fucking second of it. “Before I suck you, I want you to know that everything about to happen is because you asked for it.”

His brain said “what?” And his eyes mimicked the statement. 

I let go of his face and dropped to my knees in front of him, following the instructions I could practically hear him shouting in his head. I unbuckled his jeans and pulled them down to his thigh, his already hard and aching cock bouncing free. 

“Dean...I...I…” He was stammering, definitely unsure what to do but sure he wanted me to do this and god how I wanted to do it. 

The voice in his head wanted me to lick his shaft, so I did, slow and determined, running my tongue along the thick vein at the underside. I heard his mind tell me to take him into my mouth, so I did, and hollowed out my cheeks as I sucked at the head. 

“Fuck!” He cried out and doubled over me, wrapping his fingers in my hair. In response to that, I pushed him back up and pinned his arms to the wall and held them there. He was panting and moaning every curse word he could think of with the back of his head leaning against the wall, shaking it side to side with his eyes screwed shut at the pleasure I was giving him. 

His mind wanted me to go deeper, taking him in as far as I could. I relaxed my throat and took him all the way down, swallowing around him and humming to increase the vibrations and pleasure. He wanted to come in my mouth, and I had no problem with that. He was so close, so incredibly close that I could even hear his mind stammering the phrase ‘need...need...almost…’ in a chorus so loud it was almost deafening. 

Then he came with no warning, doubling over me again as his load coated the back of my throat. I swallowed it all, making sure to suck him through his orgasm until he was beginning to twitch away from me at the over sensitivity. 

I released him with a loud, wet, pop and looked up at him, a grin plastered on my face as I began kissing up his sensitive skin to his neck where I bit at that spot where his neck met his collarbone. I knew he loved that, even if he yelped and pushed me back slightly. 

He was searching my eyes, obviously confused on top of being completely blissed out. “What the fuck was that?”

I answered him with a kiss, shoving my tongue between his teeth to explore him. I was still painfully hard in my jeans and the demon was pushing against my skin for some sort of relief. It was going to get it, take it from him if need be. My body was pushing him harder and harder against the wall while my hips pressed into his in the most delicious of ways. 

“Dean, stop for a second.” He said, pleaded, trying to get a hold to push me back slightly so he could look at me. “Is this you or the demon?”

I grinned, maybe I even lied. “All me, baby.”

I made a move to kiss him again and he turned his head, but I was undeterred and just started nipping at his exposed neck. I could hear his brain fighting with itself, it didn't trust me but I was making him feel so good. 

He pushed back again, harder this time and I had to take several steps away to keep from falling over. “I don't believe you.” He said and pulled his pants back up. 

The demon was surging to get me to stop him, it needed that release, and I plastered my body against him again. 

“Dean, stop.” He instructed, far more stern than I had ever heard him. This perked at the demon and it finally did allow me to stop and back away. “What is going on with you?”

“I just _need_ you, Seth!” I answered, desperate now and already reaching for him. 

“No!” He snapped and batted my arms away. “The demon didn't listen to me this time. And it...it was like you were in my head, Dean.”

I took a step forward and he put his arm up to stop me. “Is that such a bad thing? I knew exactly what you wanted when you wanted it.” I said with a grin. “I had no idea you like to be manhandled.”

He looked shocked, dumbfounded, any other word you could think of to describe someone who was just informed that yes, their boyfriend was reading their mind while giving them head. “You asshole!” He yelled at me. “How long have you been able to do that!?”

“About 12 hours” I answered with a shrug. “Look, are you going to help me with this problem in my pants or not?”

That was probably the wrong thing to say and I knew it as soon as it left my mouth. Yet, the demon didn't seem to care. It was still pulsating and pressing me to get what I - it - needed from him. Shit, maybe I wasn't in control. What the fuck was going on with me? 

“You can handle that ‘problem in your pants’ yourself!” He yelled at me and stormed to his bedroom. He returned a few seconds later with a pillow that he threw at me. “On the goddamn couch!”

And he was gone, slamming his bedroom door and locking it. Oh, I had fucked up this time. With Seth out of sight it was like the demon began backing off, relinquishing its hold on me that was obviously stronger than I had thought. I felt fuzzy, like my entire body was covered in that staticky feeling of when your foot falls asleep, but it was as much me as it had been since meeting Finn. I plopped down on the couch and seriously considered trying to talk to Seth, apologize for what felt like the thousandth time today. 

This demon was ruining my life, and I blamed Finn Balor for it. None of this would have happened if he didn't work whatever demon mojo magic he had on me. Now, all these little powers and problems were creeping into my life and it hasn't even been 24 hours. It was like he flipped a switch and the demon was stronger than it had ever been. 

And where the hell was Frank? He'd been quiet ever since we talked about what was going on. 

_I've been here._

What's wrong? You sound...lost.

_Haven't really been feeling myself._

What are we going to do, man?

_I have no idea. But we need to do it soon._

Finn Balor?

_Finn Balor._


	11. Chapter 11

I wasn't quite sure how to go about this. I figure, if he can fuck me up so completely just by working some freaky demon mojo on me, he could probably see me coming from a mile away. So what's a fellow demon to do?

_Walk up to the front door and knock?_

Walk up to the front door and knock.

_Dean, this is a bad idea._

Hey, we've already established he is stronger than me, so all I have now is my wits. Besides, if the demon doesn't let me sleep, I know this motherfucker is awake at 4:38am too.

_Jesus Christ, we're doomed._

Have a little faith, Frank. 

_In what? You? Dean, you realize if he turns up your power again, I can't help you. You'll be on your own. That last time was a huge strain on me and I need time to recover._

Look, I need to give him a piece of my mind…

_Like you have any to spare._

...and I need to find out what he did to me and how I can turn it off. 

_I don't think he wants to turn it off._

Well, I don't think he has a choice. I'll figure something out, Frank. I always do. I just need you to have my back, okay?

Frank?

The door to the ridiculously expensive mansion opened and I was staring at the not too happy face of Finn Balor. Again, he looked impeccably dressed, which made me feel like some scrub off the street. I guess, in essence, I was. But, hey, we can't all be millionaire demons, can we? This time it was a pair of well fitting jeans, a sleek white tailored shirt, and black tie undone at his neck. It was the most disheveled I'd ever seen him, and yet he still looked like he could be on the cover of some men's fashion magazine. The bastard. 

“Dean? What are-?”

“Don't act like you didn't know I was coming.” I shoved my way past him, trying to ignore the resurgence of the demon under my skin as it tried to push toward him. I'd have to be extremely careful with how I controlled it, if I even could. “You know damn well why I'm here.”

With what could only be an annoyed huff, he closed the heavy door and turned toward me with his hands now stuffed in his perfect pockets. He was just looking at me, waiting, and I wanted to just tear that stupid exasperated look off his face. “Turn it off!”

He had the gall to look like he didn't know what I was talking about. “Dean, it's 5am.”

“And what's your point?” I snapped. “Like you sleep.”

He sighed at me and I found myself growing increasingly annoyed. Wasn't he the one pushing me to come back? Wasn't he the one who called me? Wasn't he the one who - 

“Stop it. The incessant questions in your head are exhausting.” 

“So stop reading my mind!” I ground out, taking a warning step toward him like I could actually hurt him if I wanted to. “Turn off the demon.”

He sniffed a small laugh and shook his head like I had just said the most ridiculous thing on the planet. 

“Well, you did.”

“I said, stop that!”

Another irritated sigh. Frankly, I was getting tired of playing this game with him. If he really was reading my mind, then he knew I wasn't playing games. He knew exactly what I had done to Roman and...Seth. Why he was beating around this bush was beyond me. 

“Would you like a cup of coffee?” He asked me suddenly and I honestly had no response to that other than to blink at him several times. 

He strode past me and looked back like I was holding him up. The demon surged forward suddenly and I was following him before I knew what was going on. Son of a bitch! He led me into a large kitchen that seemed like it should be featured on one of those high production value cooking shows on the Food Network. Stainless steel appliances, marble countertops to rival the marble of the foyer, and cabinets made of deep cherry stained wood. 

He motioned for me to sit at one of the stools situated at the kitchen island, which I did thanks to the demon under my skin. I couldn't tell this was Finn Balor doing this, how I wasn't really questioning anything and just following along, or if it was my own curiosity with a demon chaser. Either way, I found myself just watching him make a pot of coffee. 

What the hell?

“You know,” he began while he worked. “I could tell without even meeting you that you were a unique sort, one I could relate to.”

“I doubt that.” I snorted. 

Even though he had his back to me, I could tell he was smiling and again the demon under my skin began squirming so insistently that I had to grab the edge of the island to keep grounded. But I held on, I had to. 

“Dean, I know that demon of yours is pushing its way towards me.” He said and placed a cup of steaming black coffee in front of me. “Believe it or not, mine is pushing its way to you just as strongly. It wants you just as badly as yours wants me. We're connected Dean.”

I eyed him, unsure whether or not to believe him. He looked so confident, so collected, that there was no way he felt that unbelievable pressure in his body when I could barely keep mine in check. 

“I have a boyfriend.” I said suddenly...like an idiot, because what else was there to say? Obviously he knew that, he knew I loved Seth. He just didn't care. 

“I know.” Is what he replied and took a seat in the chair next to me. I felt my body tense as I tried to hold the demon back. I couldn't trust myself to look at him. I was afraid if I did those walls and protections I had against the demon would crumble. Rather, I focused on the black swirl of my coffee in the very fine porcelain cup and saucer. 

“I think, rather than turning the demon off, like you say, you should embrace it and join my club.” He said, simple as anything. Like I could just pack up and leave everything and everyone behind. It wasn't that easy, and I knew if I gave into the demon like he wanted me to, I'd never be the same. I already wasn't the same and it was pushing everyone away. Then he said the one thing that I knew he would, but affected the demon so incredibly that I couldn't resist anymore. “Join me.”

It was like something snapped in my brain and every nerve ending was firing on all cylinders when I lifted my gaze to look into his dark, black eyes. This was the demon, but I was fully aware of everything. I was aware of the growl that left my mouth when I lunged at him, I was aware of the absolute need I had for him, and I was aware that my lips crashed into his with enough force to break teeth on a normal person. He let me tackle him to the ground of his kitchen and pin him under me, laughing into my mouth the whole time I kissed him. 

He was already tearing at my clothes before we even hit the ground, my own hand wrapped in his tie to keep our lips fused. Before I knew it, I felt his hand at my belt, undoing the buckle without hesitation and slipping his hand down my pants to palm at my already straining dick.

“That's it, Dean.” He purred, low and seductive like mine had been with Seth. “Let go, let the demon have what it wants.”

My voice was also low and inviting when I spoke. “It wants you.”

“Then take me.”

I barely registered that he had flipped me onto my back, gripping my wrists tight and holding them against the floor. The power between us was palpable in the air, hanging around us like static, driving us to do this. The further we got, the more tangible it became - he grinded down on me with his sinful hips and the chairs moved along with my moans, I bit his lip and every cabinet opened by themselves. It was incredible...it _felt_ incredible. I liked it. I liked the way it was making me feel, powerful and dangerous. 

“Can Seth make you feel like this?” He asked between more bruising kisses, his hand releasing mine and again snaking into my jeans. I groaned when his fingers wrapped around me, burning and freezing my skin in a way I never wanted to stop. 

No, he didn't, but at the mention of his name my brain seemed to reroute. What was I doing? My last time with Seth I had screwed up, but was so unsatisfied that I jumped on Finn as soon as things got to be too much. This wasn't me.

“Forget him.” Finn breathed into my ear, that hand of his working magic on me. So that's what I did. I forgot about Seth and just rode out everything Finn was giving me. I flipped us again, gaining the upper hand, and tugged his hand from my pants before making quick work of his own and tearing them off of him, leaving shreds of denim strewn across the kitchen floor. I had to have him...NOW!

“Take me Dean!”

I managed to get my own pants down and lined myself up with him with no prep and no lubrication, but his legs were pulling me forward. When I thrust into him with one snap of my hips, everything electronic in the kitchen turned on. Yet, he was laughing, moaning, arching his hips with every move of my own. We bit and clawed and scratched at each other between fierce kisses and every touch was like being branded. 

He came first with no warning and anything that wasn't nailed down around us rose into the air. When I followed shortly after, it all came crashing down with the force of a car crash. And that's what it felt like, a goddamn car crash. The orgasm was so fucking intense that I felt like I might physically break apart, burst into flames, and rise to the highest peaks of pleasure all at once. I'd never felt anything like it.

When it was over, I was in a daze. I wasn't really sure what I had just done, but I knew one thing for sure…

I had royally fucked up.


	12. Chapter 12

I laid on his kitchen floor on my back for a long time just staring at the ceiling and lights that probably cost more than my rent. Finn was next to me, propped up on his elbow and watching my face. The demon had retreated for the first time ever in his presence and I was able to get my wits about me to realize I had just made a huge mistake. That should not have happened. 

“You need to stop questioning yourself, Dean.” He said and if he was trying to make me feel better he was doing a piss poor job. “You did the right thing.”

“No, I really didn't.” I answered him, pulling myself up and away from him. What I had done in was inexcusable, unacceptable, unfathomable. “I was hoping to get answers from you, to make the demon stop. All I did was ruin the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Who? Seth Rollins?” He chuckled but there was a barely concealed feeling of disdain from how he said that name. “I told you before, he can't handle you like I can.”

True as that might be, it didn't change the fact that Seth was the one I wanted to be with, not Finn. The demon wanted him, not me. I gave into it. I should have been stronger, I should have been able to control it. Now what was I supposed to do?

“You don't have to tell him, you know.” He offered, obviously in my head again, but I didn't have the energy to fight him on it. “You could stay...with me.”

I couldn't help it, I started laughing. Stay with Finn? No way in hell. I stuffed myself back into my pants and found my belt among the wreckage that was his kitchen. With the demon subsided, I felt like I was able to control my own thinking and feeling. “I'm leaving.” 

“But I thought you wanted answers?”

“I do.” I snapped back. “But at what cost?” 

He was on his feet quickly, getting in my way as soon as I turned to head back to the foyer. “You can't go.”

I pushed him aside with every intention of ignoring him. He, however, had other ideas and grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me forcefully into the kitchen island, my back connecting and I could swear I heard the marble crack. I didn't really have time to think about it as he was on me faster than I could react. His eyes were that dark black, angry and disappointed at the same time, boring into my own with an intensity that I had never felt. And that's when I felt the demon press back to the surface, not to get to him but to protect me. Was that Frank? 

“You are something special, Dean.” He snarled in my face, holding me steady with his body. Even if he was smaller than me, dude was immobilizing me like I was nothing. “I _need_ you by my side.” 

“Get off of me.” My own voice was dark and dangerous, that low tone that had appeared when I lost it with Seth and Roman. “Now.”

He smiled, wicked and sinister. “You think walking out of here will be the end? You think that demon of yours won't get stronger now that it's been unleashed. I'm the only one who can help you control it, Dean.”

“Why do you block out the demons consciousness?” I asked, suddenly curious. 

I must have caught him off guard because his smile faltered ever so slightly. “The what?”

“You know what I'm talking about, don't play stupid.” I managed to push him off of me with some effort. “Why do you block him out?”

“Your demon has a consciousness?”

I suddenly got the feeling that things were about to go from bad to worse. So, rather than answer him, I again attempted to leave and he again slammed my back into the countertop that definitely cracked this time. “See, that's what I mean. You're something special. I want you here with me.”

I growled and a sudden surge of power let me grab him and slam him into the stainless steel refrigerator, denting the metal like it were nothing but plastic. “I don't care what you want, Balor. Now, I'm walking out. It would be wise for you to get the message and move on.”

“You leave and I'm telling Seth everything.” He said, as if I didn't already plan on doing that myself. “Walking out of here would not be good for you, Dean.”

I felt that power surge again and I pushed him harder into the steel. “You aren't the first asshole to threaten me, and you won't be the last.”

“Yeah? But what about Seth?” 

I felt my lip curl into a snarl. “You come near him and I'll tear your head off.”

His face twisted into a black hearted smile. “You aren't strong enough to protect him.”

I pushed off of him and headed for the front door without another word. He called after me, “Just remember, you brought whatever happens on yourself!”

I didn't justify that with a response. 

Outside, I felt like I could finally take a deep breath. 

_How'd it go?_

I don't want to talk right now, Frank. I need to get to Seth. 

_Fine, I'll just go back to the last chapter and...Jesus Christ! Dean!_

I scrubbed a hand down my face and pulled it away wet. Tears had begun to sting my eyes without me even realizing it. I really screwed up.

_Yeah, you did! What are you going to do?_

Tell him. What else can I do?

_Not tell him and hope it blows over?_

I can't do that. Even if it means I lost him. I deserve that after all. I fucked up, I slept with Finn. I need to protect him and that means I can't leave him in the dark. 

_Dean…_

Why doesn't Finn's demon have a consciousness, Frank? 

_Well...that's a...um...how do I answer that…_

You better fucking try!

_Simple answer, it's because he's probably a full demon._

And I'm not?

_Well, no. That's because I'm not. I was an angel first._

So why does he block you out? 

_I honestly don't know. It could be the weird connection he has to you. He might not know he's doing it._

Fine. Whatever. I'm too tired to deal with this right now, but you and I are going to have s long discussion very soon. 

I looked at my watch, 6:23am. Seth might be awake. I needed to get to him, talk to him. This wasn't going to be good.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Since I don't make an appearance in this chapter *glares at writer* I'm saying hello to all you readers here! Hhhhhiiiiiiiii!!! - F_

I didn't go to Seth's. I couldn't do it despite my previous resolve, I just couldn't face him yet. So I went back to my apartment to try and clean up - anything to keep my mind and my hands busy. I knew I should take Finns threat seriously, but he wouldn't be stupid enough to try something right away. He'd have to know I'd expect it. 

I was hoping Roman would have still been asleep, considering he'd probably been up late that night. He was a bar owner after all. Yet, there he sat at the wooden bar top, rifling through receipts. He must have just woke up if the disheveled bun, sweatpants, and pot of coffee were any indication. 

“I thought you were at Seth's?” He asked me without even looking up from what he was doing. 

I wasn't sure how to answer that, and I was hoping to avoid interaction with anyone, let alone Roman. So, I just kept walking with my head down, hoping he'd forget I was there. I wasn't that lucky.

“Hey, Dean.” He called after me. I'd almost made it to the kitchen, too. “What's wrong?”

Oh, now he wanted to talk. “Nothing.”

“Well, that's a lie.” He chuckled humorlessly. 

I really wasn't in the mood to deal with him right now, and neither was the demon. It was pushing against my skin again, though nowhere near as bad as it had been, but enough to let me know it was displeased. 

Roman was leaning on the bar and watching me curiously when I chanced a look at him. Fucker knew I had screwed up, I could hear it in the thoughts running through his brain. Amongst the other shit he was thinking about, there was a distinct voice saying ‘I know that look, Dean did something bad’. I hated these new powers of the demon. Couldn't I just go back to the way things were?

Usually not one to get involved when he shouldn't, I half expected Roman to let it drop. Color me surprised when he motioned for me to sit and pulled another mug from under the bar. “I get the feeling we need to have a chat.”

“Roman, I really don't think-”

“Sit your ass down.” He commanded in that booming voice he very rarely used on me. It was usually reserved for drunks he couldn't get to leave, and most definitely not a request. So I sulked my way over to him and took a seat at the stool directly in front of him. He poured me a cup and I watched it swirl black in the mug, painfully reminded of the last few hours with Finn. He refilled his own cup and sat back in his place, then eyed me for a long, uncomfortable moment. I hated when he did this, it made me squirm in my seat and the demon shift annoyingly under my skin. 

“Look, I know you've been going through a lot,” He began and it took all my willpower not to snort a laugh because he had no idea. “But what happened with the demon in my bar, cannot happen again.”

Though I couldn't really guarantee anything, I nodded. I just wanted to get away from him at this point. 

“Don't just nod at me and expect me to believe you, Dean.” 

Bastard knew me too well. “I will try my best. That's as good as I can give you.”

He took a sip from his coffee without taking his eyes off of me, a silent assertion that he would be watching me very closely because that's exactly what I needed right now. 

“Can I go?” I asked, needing to be alone right now so I can figure out what I was going to say to Seth while simultaneously avoiding all my problems. 

“Not until you tell me what you did.” He said so matter-of-factly that I wanted to reach out and punch him. And if my body didn't freeze in place and my face didn't flush hot, I may have. “Believe it or not, I actually care about you.” 

“Wow, apparently if I want any emotion out of you other than annoyance, I should just talk to you in the morning.” 

“And I wouldn't have to be annoyed if you'd just wise up.” He countered and we both smiled at each other. “You gonna tell me, or what?”

My smile fell. He was going to hate me if I told him, despite what we might have been through together. 

“Dean?” He pressed, arching an eyebrow at me and I cracked. 

“I slept with Finn.” I answered, the guilt already tearing me up inside. 

“You _what_?!” He damn near screamed at me. I knew he wasn't going to take that well. He and Seth were close now. 

I put my elbows on the bar and cradled my face in my hands, hot tears springing up in my eyes. “It was the demon, Ro! I just couldn't control it!”

I didn't even realize he'd come around to my side of the bar until I felt him grab my shoulder and spin me around to look at him. He looked like he was about to punch me, which I would have rightfully deserved. The demon was preparing to fight back even if I didn't want it to, but waited to see what Roman would do.

“It wanted him.” I said, sobbed really. “It wanted him so bad. I-I had just fought with Seth thanks to this thing and I went over there hoping to get him to turn it off! All I did was fuck things up, man!”

I expected a punch, but that wasn't what I got. His arms were around me, hugging me close and before I could stop it I was sobbing into his shoulder. This was unprecedented and I wasn't really sure what to do other than just let it happen, let him comfort me. Roman never hugged, yet here he was rubbing soothing circles on my back and trying to calm me down. I didn't deserve this, I deserved to be punished for what I did, but I let it happen like the selfish fool I was. 

“I told Finn it was a mistake, it shouldn't have happened.” I whispered into Roman's shoulder. “When I tried to leave, he threatened me and Seth.” 

Roman pulled back, but kept his arms braced on my shoulders. It grounded me enough to look him in the eye. “He threatened you?”

I nodded. “Said if I didn't stay with him things would be very bad for me and Seth.” 

He worried his lip between his teeth like he was trying to solve all my problems at one time. “What do you want to do?”

I took a deep breath to try to calm myself, “I need to talk to Seth.”

“I can go get him and bring him here.” Roman offered. “It's safer with us.”

“That's questionable.” I laughed. “He's safer with _you_.”

“He can stay in my apartment.” 

I nodded, knowing once I told Seth what I'd done he'd never want to speak to me again anyway. “Thanks, Ro. I'd appreciate that.”

“Good.” Then he reared back his fist and punched me square in the jaw. It hurt, and my head snapped back on impact, but being a demon didn't allow for any damage. “That's for being an idiot.”

“Fair enough.” I replied, gently dabbing at my sore jaw until the pain stopped. 

He looked me over one more time and patted me gently on the shoulder before he grabbed his keys and left the bar. 

There was no turning back now.


	14. Chapter 14

My apartment was trashed when I got back to it. Things were thrown everywhere, my very nice television was in pieces on the floor, the mattress and frame were propped up against the wall, and anything that wasn't nailed down was strewn haphazardly all over the place. I sighed. Maybe I could just snap my fingers and it would all clean itself. Hell, with all these new little powers springing up, maybe it would. So I tried it.

Nothing.

_You're an idiot._

It was worth a shot. 

Not really sure where to start, and honestly not really feeling like cleaning in the first place, I sat at the only chair I had in the room. I wondered what Roman had told Seth when he went to pick him up. I wondered if he would have said anything about finn. Having known Roman so long, I doubted it, but I half wished he would. It would definitely save me from seeing that horrified look creep onto his face. 

_Seth loves you._

That doesn't excuse what I did, Frank.

_No, it doesn't, but if you both talk it through…_

He'll leave me,I get that. He wouldn't be the first.

_But he'll be the first that actually means something._

I wiped a tear from my cheek. Dammit Frank. Why do you have to be so right? 

_It's all the RomComs. Gives me insight._

I breathed a quick laugh, shaking my head at the absolute shitstorm I had created. All because of this demon inside of me. I wished that I could just let it leave, but I knew I was a dead man if I did. Damned if I do, damned if I don't. 

I heard Seth before I saw him. Roman must have gotten back from picking him up without much of a fight. They were just talking, Seth obviously confused about why he had to stay at the Powerhouse, but not exactly putting up much of a fight about it. Roman, on the other hand, sounded downright angry (more than usual) and I knew that was because of me. He may have let it slide for now because of the situation, but he'd never forgive me for this. That was fair. 

Maybe it was the nerves creeping up my spine that did it, but the light knock on my door didn't exactly startle me, though I jumped none the less. He didn't wait for me to answer, it was just a formality anyway, and walked in. I watched him come and made a point to study everything about him because this might be the last time he saw me as the love of his life. He looked sad, maybe a little angry, mostly just confused. “Dean? Are you...you know… _you_?”

I offered him a sad smile and nodded. I didn't make a move from my seat, letting him carefully approach in his own time rather than run to him and sweep him up to hold him like I so desperately wanted to. Even the demon was relaxing, letting this happen in its own time, just pressing enough to let me know it was still there.

Seth approached me but stopped several feet away, crossing his arms over his chest in a more defensive, self hugging sort of way rather than the angry gesture he was probably hoping for. “What is going on?” 

I stood up, already trying to push aside the little pang of guilt at the way his eyes widened slightly and he reflexively to a step back. Again, I just wanted to hold him, tell him I was sorry for everything I'd done in the past 24 hours, and kiss and make it all better. But I couldn't offer him that band-aid, because I was about to make the wound bigger than any bandage could fix. I motioned for him to sit down and took several steps back for his benefit. He just stood there, so I stuffed my hands in my pockets and took a deep breath. 

“Things have...I have…” I ran my hand through my hair, trying to formulate just what to say and how to say it.

_Just pull the trigger and tell him._

Seth beat me to the punch. “They've royally hit the fan, huh?”

I sniffed a humorless laugh, “Understatement.”

He took a careful step towards me as if testing my reaction to his movement. I just stood there because what else could I do? “Roman said something happened. That I needed to be protected. He wouldn't tell me what, said that you would explain everything. So, explain.”

I looked at the ceiling light, just letting it burn into my vision so I wouldn't have to look him in the eye. “After your apartment, I went to see Finn.” I chanced a look at him and he was listening very intently. So, I pressed forward. “I wanted him to turn off whatever he'd done to me to make me hurt you.”

“Did he?”

I shook my head. “No.”

Another wary step towards me, like he could see the pain on my face and wanted to help but knew he needed to protect himself. I understood that, which is why I stepped back to keep the same distance between us. “Dean, what did you do?”

There it was, the million dollar question. What did I do? I did what I always do, fuck things up beyond repair. I prepared myself for the anger, the pain, the hurt, the disappointment I knew he was about to express. “I...I…”

“Dean?” 

“I had sex with Finn.”

His face was unreadable. I waited for the inevitable explosion I knew was coming because how could he not? When he made no move I tried to explain, though I knew it wouldn't do much good. 

“It happened pretty fast. The demon has wanted him from the beginning and its pull toward him was incredibly strong. I lost control, pure and simple. After, I knew I had screwed up and tried to leave. He threatened me, and you, if I didn't stay with him. But he's not what I want. He was _never_ what I wanted. You are the only good thing in my life and I went and destroyed it. I'm not going to make excuses for what I did, but I never meant for it to happen.”

His eyes were glassy when I looked at him again. I had cut him deep but he was trying so desperately to hold it together. I could hear his mind racing, feel every stab of the knife I had just drove through him. He was so hurt, so incredibly betrayed and trying to put on a show for my benefit. I wished he would just say something, anything, but he didn't. He really didn't have to. 

“Could you just say something?” I asked with no real right to. 

He didn't. He just shook his head and turned on his heels to leave. That's when I reached for his arm because we needed to talk this through. This couldn't remain unresolved. He pulled his arm away and pushed me hard in the chest. “Don't _fucking_ touch me!”

“Seth, please…”

He was seething now, anger and rage barely controlled. “You...you...ASSHOLE! How could you do that? Huh? Answer that question!”

“I told you, I didn't mean for it to happen.”

“That's not good enough, Dean!” He yelled. “You _knew_ he was dangerous! You fucking _knew it_! You don't think of anyone but yourself, do you?”

I was getting heated now, I could feel the hot flush on my face and the demon swirling under my skin. “I went over there to protect you!”

“And how'd that fucking work out?” He spat back at me harshly. “We're you thinking of me when you had your dick shoved into him? Or was it the other way around?”

_Damn!_

That caught me off guard. How was I supposed to respond to that? I didn't because there was nothing I could say. It was an obvious hit below the belt on his part, but I couldn't fault him for it. 

When I said nothing, he again turned away from me, but not before getting one last word in between gritted teeth. “ _Don't_ come near me, do you understand?”

I nodded and watched him leave.

_That went about how I expected it to._

Shut up, Frank!


	15. Chapter 15

_Dean, you have to get up._

Why? What's the point? I'd rather sit here on the floor of my trashed apartment then deal with my problems. I'm allowed. It's not like I can get drunk to forget so all I have is this.

_This little pity party of yours is ridiculous._

Thanks for the words of encouragement, Frank.

_You know, rather than wallowing in your own humanity, maybe you need to demon up and deal with this Finn problem before he goes after Seth._

I hate what I am...what I did...

_Oh for fucks sake! Grow a set man! You messed up! It happens! Stop acting like a fucking child! You've got a pissed off demon who will stop at nothing to get to you. That includes the possible death of the man you love! Sitting here isn't going to keep him safe. Isn't that what you want?_

Or, alternatively, you could tell me what to do. Since you are an angel and all.

_Former angel._

Please, I'm begging you, just tell me everything. 

Frank was silent for a long time and I honestly thought that maybe I had asked too much of him. I was on the verge of trying to drown myself in a bottle of Jack Daniels, but the sigh in my head stopped me. 

_I was hoping you'd never have to know my past, but hey. Being as we're stuck together, maybe it's better that I show you._

Show me? 

_Hang on tight, this is going to be a bumpy trip down memory lane._

It was suddenly as if I was tugged from my own body through a void of nothingness at light speed. It was a little like being strapped to a rocket that was spiraling out of control while simultaneously falling through peanut butter. Weird comparison, I know, but it's the best I can do. The next thing I knew I was standing in a field that wasn't quite a field. The colors were wrong, nothing seemed to be still, and there were almost no sounds except for my own breathing. 

“Hi Dean.” I heard to my left and spun around. Standing there was a man, well not quite a man. He was tall and handsome with striking features, hair black as ink flowing to just above his shoulders, his eyes were so blue they were unnerving. The thing that really made him stand out was his gold and red battle armor, similar to that of some Roman soldier in all those cheesy gladiator movies I'd seen. Oh, and the gigantic black wings tucked neatly behind his back. 

“Frank?” 

He looked down at himself and smiled a perfect smile. I guess for an angel that was par for the course. “Yeah, it's me. I haven't looked like this in millennia. I was kind of a looker, huh?”

“Can I…?” I reached out a hand to touch his wing but waited for permission. He gave me a quick nod and I brushed my fingertips against the softest feathers I had ever felt. He laughed like I had just tickled him, and I pulled my hand away. 

“I forgot how sensitive they were.” 

Ok, I was dreaming or dead and I wasn't sure which. “Where are we?”

His smile fell as if he was suddenly lost in thought. “This is the heavenly plane. It's quiet now, but won't be for long.”

“What do you mean, Frank?”

He took another breath and cast his eyes down like he was embarrassed or shy. I'd never known him to act like this. “I guess I should get this out of the way…”

“Frank?”

“Yeah, that's not my name.” He said and began walking, prompting me to follow. It was a bit like trudging through sand, but I kept pace with him. “I changed it throughout the years so the people I possessed wouldn't recognize me. They were very religious times and my true name would have been very popular.”

“What's your true name?”

He stopped and looked at me, brilliant blue eyes almost scared to admit it. “Gabriel.”

I couldn't help it, I laughed. He didn't seem amused. “Gabriel? Like _the_ Gabriel?”

He said nothing, just sort of stared at me with this expression similar to embarrassment but not quite. 

I stopped laughing. “Are you _fucking_ kidding me!?”

“Dean, were in heaven. Maybe cool it on using the word ‘fuck’.”

Oh, I was pissed now. “You're a goddamn ARCHANGEL!?”

He set his perfect fucking jaw and drew down his perfect fucking eyebrows, growing impatient with my attitude but I really didn't give a shit. 

“When were you going to tell me this little tidbit of information? Huh, asshole?”

He huffed out a breath and closed his eyes for a second, obviously trying to reign in his own temper while mine flared. “First of all, you just called an archangel an asshole. Not the smartest move in the book, is it?”

“Former archangel.” I clarified, crossing my arms over my chest and waiting for the rest of what would surely be an astonishing explanation as to why he kept this a secret. 

Again he set his jaw. “Look, douchebag, I'm trying to come clean here! Yeah, I _was_ an archangel, but like I told you before, I fell. Just fucking watch…”

He grabbed my arm and pointed me to look toward a man walking. I realized pretty quickly that it was Frank, or Gabriel, or whoever he was. He was heading toward a gate, white and gold and exactly what you'd expect to see in heaven. 

“What are you doing?” I asked. He said nothing, but I could see the apprehension on his face when I looked back quickly. 

The other Frank took a set of keys from his belt and unlocked the gate, allowing another man to step in. This one was dressed in black armor similar to Franks, with large black wings, wearing even blacker robes over it to obscure his face. 

“You promise mankind will be spared?” The other Frank asked the man. 

“You have my word, Gabriel.” 

I recognized that voice. Why did I know that voice?

The other Frank stepped aside and the black armored man motioned for others to enter. Dozens and dozens of similarly dressed angels began filing in and taking to the sky. 

“What's going on?” I asked him.

“That, was how the war started.” He answered, eyes glued to the scene in front of him. “I had hoped things would he better if I unlocked the gate, but they only got worse. When the dust cleared, the rebels were cast out, as was anyone who helped them.”

I pointed to the man in the black robes. “Who is he?” 

“The demon king.” He answered. “He and I were like you and Seth, a long time ago. I thought I loved him once, and he assured me of the same. Then he betrayed me. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but it hurt worse than being cast out.”

When I looked back at the scene unfolding, the man in the robes lifted the hood from his head and my heart stopped. That's why I recognized his voice! 

“Dean?”

I hadn't realized I was backing up until I fell onto my ass, eyes glued to the man in the black robes. My heart was going a mile a minute as the realization of who I was looking at, who I fucking sleep with, hit me like a ton of bricks. “Th-that's him…”

“That's who?” Frank asked, kneeling down and turning my head to look at him. 

“That's Finn Balor!”

I was suddenly jolted through the darkness again until I came to gasping for breath in my apartment. I scrambled to my feet, still feeling the effects of whatever had just happened, the unbelievable information I had just received, and the realization that I was wildly unprepared for this. I felt like I was going to be sick. 

_Are you sure that was Finn Balor!?_

On my life, Frank. Should I even call you that anymore?

_I don't give a fuck what you call me! We have bigger fish to fry! You need to warn Seth and Roman._

Yeah, good idea. I hurried out my door, through the bar kitchen, and up the steps toward Roman's apartment. When I got there, it was like all the breath had escaped my lungs. There, attached to the door with a knife, was a note. I tore it off the door and read it quickly.

‘Dean, I told you this wouldn't end well for you. Now your friend and Seth will have to pay the price. Meet me at the docks at midnight, or they both die - Finn’

It burst into flames in my hand as the anger rose and the demon swirled furiously under my skin. This was the last thing the demon king would ever do because I was going to fucking destroy him.


	16. Chapter 16

I didn't wait for midnight. I wasn't going to just sit and twiddle my thumbs for the next few hours while I waiting for whatever this demon son of a bitch had in store. So I stormed my way to his mansion, kicked in the door, and screamed his name in the foyer as loud as I possibly could. I toppled over anything that wasn't nailed down, just to make my presence known in the most glorious fashion I could think of. He wanted to play games? We’d play games. 

_Subtle_

The house was dark, but I could sense another demon present. It didn't feel like Finn, but whoever it was better give up where he was or I was tearing them apart. I gave the demon some control now. With a goal in mind, it was easy to keep it on track. It was free to use whatever powers it needed to find Seth and Roman. The power surging through me was overwhelming, but the strength I felt with my narrowed focus was just what I needed. 

I let the demon lead me to where I needed to go. I followed its pull up the grandiose stairs to the second floor, where I had never been. It was a maze of hallways, just like the rest of the house, and I hated the fact that someone like him could live in such luxury. 

The demon pulled me through a door to one of the countless rooms. It was a bedroom. The bed looked like it had been slept in recently, which was odd for a demon outside of the rare occasions that the fucking thing let you sleep. The bed was as big as my apartment and the gold, satin sheets gave it a tacky sort of appeal. The room itself had to be as big as a small house in its own right, which did nothing to make me feel any less hatred for the man. But someone, another demon, was in here. 

_Closet._

I stalked to the closet, not really caring if whoever was in there could hear me or not. Throwing open the door, I reached in and grabbed the first solid thing I could, tugged it out, and slammed it against the wall. It was a woman, a demon, young from what I could tell, with bright orange hair and pale skin to compliment her blue eyes. She was pretty, very pretty, but was now in my sights for an entirely different reason. “Where's Finn!?”

“I-I-I dun know!” She stammered, her accent similar to Balors. Irish.

I growled at her, impatient. “Who the fuck are you?” 

She hesitated, looking me square in what I was certain were my black eyes. But I was impatient, and shoved her harder into the wall. That's what prompted the rushed answer, “Becky!”

“You a demon?”

She nodded and her eyes flicked to black. She was scared of me, I could smell it on her. “Y-y-yes.”

“What are you to him?”

Another hesitation and I growled at her, deep in my throat. If she didn't know I wasn't fucking around before, she certainly knew now. “I dun wanna tell you!”

“It would be unwise to make me guess.” I snarled. I was pretty good at intimidating people, and I was succeeding now if the way she swallowed was any indication. 

“I-I'm his wife.” She said finally. 

_Wife?_

“Wife?” I didn't know he was married. He didn't wear a ring, nor did he mention a wife when I was buried in his ass. I shuddered at disgust the memory made rise in my throat. “Are you aware your husband has been sleeping around on you? With me?”

“Yes.” She answered with a gulp. That took me by surprise and I wasn't really sure how to respond to it. Thankfully, I didn't have to. “You're Dean Ambrose. He talks about you. Says he needs you…”

She looked almost heartbroken. I couldn't bring myself to feel bad, not when the people I love and care about were out there somewhere getting God knew what done to them by this woman's sick husband. 

“Well, _Becky_ , if your dickhead of a husband were going to hide hostages, where _exactly_ would he do that?”

She shrugged and I found myself pushing her harder into the wall behind her. That wasn't the answer I wanted. “I-I DUN KNOW! He doesn't tell me things!” Then she looked sad and my heart and grip loosened a little. “He never even wants to see me. He only thinks about you. Ever since that _stupid_ broadcast!”

I let go of her and took a few steps back. The apology was on my lips, and I almost said it, but there were things that I needed. People I loved and cared about were in danger and worrying about hurting the feelings of this demon - no matter how much I felt for her - was not my top priority. 

“You can't beat him.” She sniffed and wiped her hand under her nose. “Not that I don't want you too.”

“What do you mean?”

“He's been around for millennia, do you think he wouldn't be stronger than most?”

_She's got a point._

So have you, Frank. I'd say that's an advantage. 

_But he wasn't relegated to possessing anyone. That's his true form. If I was back to my old self -_

Is there a way?

_Not without possibly killing you in the process. You know if I leave, you'll revert back to when Hunter drained you._

That's not what I asked you. 

_Dean…_

Is there a fucking way, Frank! 

_Yes!_

Then what do you need?

_A sacrifice._

Like a goat?

_No, asshat, like a deed!_

Ok. I can do that.

_We are so fucked._


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I preface this by saying:   
> #1. I'm sorry  
> #2. See number 1  
> #3. THIS ISN'T THE END!

Midnight. 

The docks were empty, which wasn't really surprising. Thankfully, I at least had my heightened demon senses to keep me alert. Finn was no where close, I couldn't feel him. That could either be a good thing or a bad thing. It really didn't matter, because all I knew was that I could hear Roman talking to Seth. He was pretty far off, but my demon hearing was able to easily pick it up. 

“We’ll be ok, Seth!” He was trying to stay calm, but I could hear the panic in his own voice. “Hey, look at me, we’ll be alright.”

Seth was right there with him. His own fear far less controlled that Roman's as he damn near sobbed. “What are we going to do, Roman! I-I…”

“Hey! Do NOT lose focus now, Seth!”

I was damn near sprinting by this point, following the sounds of their voices until I felt pavement turn to sand under my boots. “Roman! Seth!”

“Dean!?” Roman yelled back. 

I could see them now, tied to the docks far enough out into the water that the waves were lapping against their thighs. What worried me the most was that the waterline on the wood was far above their heads, meaning that if the tide came in…

I didn't want to think about it. I was here now and I'd get them free. 

I waded out into the water without hesitation. “Are you guys ok?”

“You need to run!” Roman said, looking me dead in the eye. “He's after you!”

“I know.” I said and immediately began pulling at the rope around Seth's wrists tethered above his head. He was looking at me with tears in his eyes and I could tell he was terrified. All I wanted to do was hold him and tell him everything would be ok, but I couldn't offer him that. Not yet.

“Go Dean.” He whispered to me when our eyes met each other's. “Please.”

“I'm not leaving you!” I said to him as reassuringly as I could. I chanced a glance at Roman. “Either of you.”

His eyes were searching mine when I looked back, our faces inches apart while I tried to pull the ropes free. “Everything I did, I did to try and protect you, Seth. If this goes south, I want you to know that...that...you're it for me. You've always been the one. And if I screwed this up beyond forgiveness, I understand.”

Rather than say anything, he pushed forward and pressed his lips to mine, conveying everything he felt. I knew it would be a bumpy road ahead for us, but he was as willing to power through as I was, because he loved me. I could hear it in his thoughts, and the way he nodded at me when he pulled back let me know he knew I heard his thoughts. 

But, first things first, I had to get them loose. Why wouldn't these ropes come free? Despite how much I tugged, even with my demon strength, they wouldn't budge. I had to give up on Seths to give Roman's a try, with the same result. 

“Dean?” Roman said, trying to get my attention. When I ignored him in favor of continuing to try and get his hands free, he said my name again until I looked at him. “This was a trap.”

“I know, Roman.”

“Then what's your plan, dipshit?”

Good to know he hadn't lost his sunny disposition in the face of adversity. “Look at me Roman, do I ever have a plan? I need a goddamn knife or something.”

“I might have mine still in my boot.”

“That would have been good to know 5 minutes ago, Ro.” I snapped at him. 

By now the water was at our hips, which meant the tide was coming in, which meant I didn't have much time. I stripped off my leather jacket and threw it off to the side, it was just hindering my movements anyway. Thankfully, I didn't really feel how cold the water was thanks to the demon, so the thin black t-shirt would not be a problem. However, the way the both of them were shivering had me more than a little concerned. 

I took a breath and crouched down to Roman's boot, easily pulling the blade free of its holster. Thank god he didn't trust anyone enough to leave home without it. When I came back up, I froze in my tracks. 

“Did you really think I'd make this easy?” Finn was standing right next to Seth, eyes a sick shade of red, fingers black as soot and wrapped around Seth's throat, cutting off his airflow. “I should just snap his neck since he's been nothing but in the way.”

“Finn! Let him go!” Roman growled. Leave it to Roman Reigns to growl at a demon like Finn. 

But Finn did let go, Seth coughing for the breath he was denied, and walked toward me, a twisted grin showing off fanged teeth and a forked tongue when he spoke. “What's the matter Dean? Haven't you ever seen a demon before?”

“Dean! Run!” Roman yelled at me, though my feet weren't exactly moving. 

Finn snarled at Roman and got his fingers around his throat this time. “Yes, Dean, run. Leave them here to die like the coward you are.”

That's when the demon surged and I didn't even try to hold it back. I felt every change in my body, right down to the color of my eyes, and pushed Finn back with every ounce of power I had. He let go of roman and stumbled back toward the beach. I was in a daze, heady thrumming in my ears as the demon pressed against my skull, but far too gone to make heads or tails of it. I looked at Roman and he actually cowered back. Reaching up, I pulled the ropes around his wrists and they snapped like they were nothing. I handed him the knife, but didn't say anything more as I stalked toward Finn. 

“You tried to kill the people I love.” I said, far calmer than I felt, my voice that dangerously deep tone that I've come to realize means the demon is angry.

“And I might just succeed if you don't cooperate.” Finn sneered and nodded toward Roman who was trying to cut the ropes at Seth's wrists and making little to no progress. The water was at his chest now. “I'd say your boyfriend has ten minutes at most. I hope he can hold his breath.”

I looked back at him, but could hear Roman trying to reassure the panicking Seth. “I'll get you loose! Seth, stay with me, okay?”

“What will it take for you to let them go?” I asked, though I wanted so desperately to run to them, but the demon wasn't going to allow it. 

“You know what I want, Dean.” He answered with a sick grin. “Though, I'm unsure if it's too late. Maybe I just want you dead.” He started circling me and I could feel that electric charge with every movement of his eyes along my body, like he was trying to decide the best way to destroy me. 

“Then do it.” I said, eyeing his with a tilt of my head. “Kill me and let them go.”

“Dean! No!” I heard Roman yell from somewhere behind me. Then he said something to Seth that sounded like, “hold tight”. Next thing I knew he was at my side with the knife in his hand, snarling at the demon Finn. “Take me.”

_Dean, this is it. I can leave, but you'll be defenseless._

What does that mean, Frank?

_I'm sorry. It's been really wonderful to be your friend._

Frank, what are you going to do? Frank!? 

Next thing I knew, the demon overtook all my movements and grabbed Roman by the shoulder, turning him to meet my eyes. He looked startled, but seemed to nod like he understood what was about to happen even if I didn't. 

Frank! Don't you hurt him! Frank!

My hand lifted and I pressed my index finger to Roman's forehead. There was a surge of power unlike anything I had ever felt and we both screamed against it. 

“What are you doing?” I heard Finn say somewhere behind the blinding pain. I couldn't focus, I couldn't breathe, and when it was over I was lying on the beach in a heap with blood pouring from my neck. There was no press of the demon, no voice in my head telling me I was an asshole. 

I  
Was  
Human

And about the bleed to death if what Frank said was true. 

“You ok, Dean?” Roman said down to me, but this wasn't Roman. His eyes were a brilliant shade of white, skin glowing and radiating an aura of good. 

“Wha-?” Was about all I could manage through the pain at my neck. “Frank!?”

He grinned a brilliantly white smile. “I never said the sacrifice had to be you, Dean.”

“Where's Roman?” 

“He's here.” Frank said and made like he was listening to something only he could hear. “He's a very colorful curser. And I thought you had a potty mouth.”

“Who the _fuck_ are you?” We both turned to look at Finn standing off to the side, looking at us in what could best be described as boredom. 

Roman looked back down at me and winked. “I can handle him. Go get Seth.”

I nodded, and tried to pull myself to my feet, but the wound at my neck was still bleeding pretty profusely. Goddamn Hunter! The edges around my vision were starting to blur, but I knew I had to get to Seth. I could still hear them talking to each other as I waded out into the water to Seth, he was struggling to keep his head above the waterline now.

“Seth! I'm here!” 

“D-De-an!” He was sputtering as the water filled his mouth when he talked. “H-help!”

I had to swim the last few yards, God only knows how I did it with how tired I felt, how groggy I was. When I got to him, he looked shocked at my state and how much blood was seeping into the water around us. “You're bleeding!”

“I'll be fine.” I lied, fairly sure either we were going to die together right now or I could at least get Seth free. I wasn't making it off this beach in the state I was in, but he would if it's the last thing I do...which it probably would be. 

I chanced a look to the beach to see Roman and Finn circling each other. 

“Who are you?” The demon asked, forked tongue flirting out to emphasize his displeasure. 

“Don't you recognize me?” Roman said, a strange little smile on his lips. 

“Should I?”

“A few dozen millennia and you forget your own lover?” 

Finn seemed to stop, recognition finally settling in on his eyes. “Gabriel?”

“Dean!” Seth sputtered in front of me, the water now perilously close to over taking him. “Dean, I'm sorry.”

“Shut up, Seth.” I said and started tugging on the ropes again, my strength waning as quickly as the tide was coming in. “None of this is your fault.”

He coughed a few times, trying to clear the water seeping into his mouth and nose. “P-Please, just tell me it'll be ok.”

I looked him right in the eyes, taking his head between my hands and kisses him as best I could. “No matter what happens, I'm not leaving you. Do you understand?”

He had asked me that question countless times when the demon is so close to the surface it's all he can do to control me. I smiled the best I could before a coughing fit overtook me. There was the distinctive taste of copper at the back of my throats and I knew I couldn't have much time. And neither did he, the water now to high for him to keep his head up any longer. “Fuck! No, Seth!”

The ropes at his wrist held tight and no matter how hard I pulled, they wouldn't come loose. His hand found mine and squeezed. “No! God, please!” 

To took a deep breath and dove under. I found his face in the dark and pressed my lips to his. One breath, two, three, and I had to let go. He was still squeezing my hand as I continued to pull and tug at the ropes. I couldn't lose him! Not like this! He was my everything, my world, the only reason I have to live. He couldn't die! 

I could feel the hot tears rolling down my face to meet the freezing water around me as I kept trying to get him loose. “GODDAMMIT! Hold on, please!” 

I dove down again, gave him my breath, but my own body was beginning to betray me. I'd lost too much blood to be effective, weakly clawing at the ropes around his wrist. I couldn't do it. I couldn't save him. 

His hand went limp around mine. 

“NOOOOO!!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and dove down to latch my body onto his. If I was going to die anyway, I wanted it to be with him. Under the water, I caressed his lifeless face and kissed his lips one last time, hoping so hard they would kiss back. When they didn't, all my will to live left me and I waited for the sweet relief of death to take me. I didn't care how, drowning or blood loss, but I wasn't leaving Seth. 

I refused to.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chap to go! Thank you all for every comment and kudo you've given! They are sincerely appreciated! Love you all!

I could have just let myself drift away, could have let the darkness take me over. It would have been so easy, I didn't even give it a second thought. I merely clung to Seth's lifeless body for as long as it would have taken. I didn't care anymore. Everything that mattered was gone. There was no more demon to keep me alive, so what was the point of trying?

I wasn't that lucky. 

Just when I thought I may just slip into the peaceful grip of death, a hand wrapped around the back of my shirt and yanked me up. I fell like a stone onto the wooden docks, painfully aware that I was still alive despite the coughs wracking my body for the oxygen I'd been denied.

“Oh, no you don't.” I was vaguely aware of Finn's voice by my ear. “You don't get to die with him. That's not how this works, _Dean_.”

I was crawling back toward the edge of the dock, ready and willing to throw myself back into the black depths. I was a dead man anyway, I knew I was still bleeding from the neck wound. In all honesty, I was a little surprised I'd lasted this long. A foot between my shoulder blades stopped me and forced my chest to the wooden boards. I didn't fight back, there was no reason to. 

“Finn!” 

That was Roman's voice...or Franks...or Gabriel's; I dunno, all three? It didn't matter, nothing did at this point. I felt Finn turn and I tried my best to as well. Roman looked bloody, surprisingly so considering the demon - angel? - would heal all damage. My mind couldn't process that right now. I was so tired. I just wanted to close my eyes and sleep. 

“Don't come any closer, Gabriel!” Finn said and I felt him lift me to my knees to face Roman, his spindly black fingers burned where they were wrapped around my jaw. “I can release my hold on him and he'll be dead in an instant.”

So Finn is why I was still alive. As if I needed another reason to hate him. He killed Seth and now wouldn't let me join him. This asshole!

Roman stopped moving and dropped his hands to his side. “I just want to make things right.” He said, sounding sadder than I had ever heard. “You know this has to end.”

“Nothing has to end!” Finn growled back, his fingers tightening on my face. “Everything was fine until he made that broadcast!”

Like it was my fault. Sure, blame the one not allowed to bleed to death. Why not?

“All he had to do - you, had to do - was Be by my side!” Finn continued. “That's all I asked, that's all I wanted!”

Somehow, my smartass came out. “W-what about y-your wife, numbnuts?”

Finn growled at me, a deeply disturbing sound that seemed to come from his whole body. “Don't you _dare_ talk about her!”

“Why? I-it's not like y-you care.” I was pressing his buttons, I knew that. Who would I be if not a ball buster? Especially since I had nothing left to lose. Maybe I'd get lucky and he'd put me out of my misery if I got him mad enough. “She told me to k-kill your ass!”

“Dean!” Roman scolded me. 

Fuck it. I was dead anyway. “In-in fact, she begged me to do I-it! Right before I took her down. I-it was easy enough to do…”

It was a lie, I left her be, being married to this douchenozzle was enough of a punishment, and he probably knew that with his magic demon mojo. I didn't care, but it would appear that I had hit the right button regardless because he lifted me to my feet and held me by my shirt until my toes were barely scratching the wooden boards. “You lie.”

“Doesn't that just get under your skin?” I said, still pushing him. “Doesn't it make you want to _end_ me?”

“Dean, stop it!” Roman demanded from behind me. 

“Shut up, Roman or Frank or whoever the fuck you are!” I yelled back at him, but my eyes were fixed on Finn. It was him I addressed next. “Go ahead, kill me. I know you want to. Just a little snap of the neck, maybe slit my throat. Do it, asswipe!”

Finn sneered at me, a sickening sort of smile that would probably have made lesser men piss themselves. Hell, if I had any fear left in me, I probably would be cowering right about now. Funny what not giving a shit anymore does to a person. 

“But that's exactly what you want, isn't it?” Finn chuckles. “Can't stand the idea of being without _Seth_ , can you?”

I felt the heat of the tears run down my cheek when I answered. “No, I can't.”

“Dean, stop talking!” Roman's voice boomed from behind me. “Let me handle this!”

“Why? So you can just possess Roman forever?” I snapped, just so over this. “Either he can do it now or I can do it later!”

There was a flash of blinding white light and the next thing I knew I was lying on my back on the wooden boards staring up at the night sky. There was a snarling sound that sounded like Finn, but he was in pain. Did Roman do that? What did he even do?

“You kill me and he dies!” Finn growled. 

I managed to push myself into my side just in time to see Roman advancing on the demon. I hoped he would just take him out, kill two birds with one stone, but the look in his eyes was soft, almost pitying. “I'm not going to kill you. I'm going to send you home.”

That was the first time that I have ever seen Finn scared. His red eyes were wide and I could see his lip tremble. 

“You can't send me back there, Gabriel.”

“I can, and I will.” 

Roman was slowly getting closer to the demon, but he wasn't moving. The closer he got, the more agitated Finn seemed to be. I felt like I needed to do something, needed to help, so I shifted so I was on my stomach and ignored the blood pooling under me. I knew I should be dead already, and I ducking welcomed it, but I still needed to help somehow. I crawled toward them as much as my body would allow, the pain still overwhelming even as I powered through it. “Roman!”

He turned at the sound of my voice and smiled. “It'll all be over soon.”

“Yes, it will.” Finn growled and snapped his fingers. 

That's when the pain went from overwhelming to unbearable. It was like someone was stabbing me through every pore, every nerve ending was on fire, until my all consuming thought was the agony. He wasn't willing to kill me, but he wasn't above hurting me either. It was so intense I couldn't even scream, couldn't even breathe, couldn't even blink. And as quickly as it was there, it was over and I was left gasping for air, curled into myself like a beaten animal. Maybe that wasn't so far off from the truth. 

Yet, this didn't seem to faze whoever was possessing Roman, he just kept getting closer. Still Finn didn't move. “Finn, it's time to go.”

“Stop, Gabriel.” Finn growled.

Roman gave him a sympathetic smile and reached out a hand. For some ungodly reason, I wanted to stop him. I don't know what it was that made me, but the thought of not being the one doing the eviscerating kind of pissed me off. But my breath and mouth wouldn't cooperate when I tried to call out, nothing really would. I was just so tired, so weak, that all I could do was watch. 

Roman's hand landed on finn's forehead and the demon screamed. Screaming probably wasn't the right word, more like a weird mixture of wailing and laughing and crying all at once. The sound was horrifying and so incredibly loud that I had to cover my ears. I don't know how long it went on for, but by the time it was over, Finn was gone. 

That tired feeling hit me hard, exponentially more overwhelming than it was before. My vision was going black and the wound at my neck was bleeding more profusely without Finn keeping me alive. I couldn't even hold my head up by the time roman was at my side. 

“Dean! Don't go anywhere!”

“I'm going with Seth.” I murmured, the effort to talk too much. He must have rolled me on my back because next thing I knew I was looking up into those sad white eyes. “It's ok.”

“I can save you.” He said, a sad smile on his lips. He again lifted his hand and placed it on my forehead. I wanted to stop him, so badly. I needed to go, I needed to be with Seth. He couldn't do this to me! But I was too far gone to stop him. 

It wasn't blinding pain that I felt, that I expected, but a warm feeling that spread throughout my whole body, like a hug. It squeezed me comfortingly and held tight and I was awake, suddenly and completely awake sitting bolt upright and clawing at my neck. 

No more wound, no more blood. Was I possessed again? Was this bastard demon back? No. I looked back at Roman, half expecting to see him scowling at me back to his normal, brooding self. But he wasn't, his eyes were still that white color and that glowing aura around him was still there. There was no press of the demon under my skin, no Frank in my head. I was me, wholly and completely human. 

And now I was pissed. 

“Why did you do that!?” I yelled at him, not even remotely caring that it looked like I had hurt his feelings. “Why couldn't you have just let me go!?”

“Dean, I -”

“No!” I was on my feet now, already jogging towards the water. “I wanted to go with him, don't you understand!”

“But, Dean -”

I wasn't listening. I was already halfway into the water when he appeared in front of me. “Get out of my way.”

“No, you're going to listen to me!”

“I don't care what you have to say!”

“Tough!” He growled and his eyes flashed a deep gold for a brief moment. It was enough to stop me, at least for now. “Can't you tell I'm different now?”

“I don't give a fuck, frank...or whoever you are.”

“You're so stubborn! How can you go through life like that?” Then “Roman agrees with me.” 

“He's still in there?”

“Of course he is, what do you take me for?”

“Don't know, don't care anymore.” 

I tried to push past him but a hand on my chest stopped me. “I'm full angel now, Dean.”

I glared at him, still angry that he was keeping me from Seth. “So what? How? Why Roman and not me?”

“His sacrifice was unprovoked where you already knew what you had to do.” He answered. “It was an easier transition.”

I shook my head. “Good for you. Now, move!”

I pushed past him with every intention of just letting myself slip away again. What was the point, especially now that I _could_ die. But his next words stopped me in my tracks and had me turning to face him. 

“I can bring him back.”

“Y-you can?”

He nodded and grinned. “Perks of being an angel, Deano. Especially one of my status.”

The tears were falling down my face and I had no intention of stopping them. “Please, do it.”

He nodded at me and I watched as he waded into the water towards where Seth was still tied to the docks until he was submerged. He was gone for a few seconds until he surfaced with Seth's lifeless body draped in his arms. That hurt way more than I expected it to, to see him like that, and the sobs cutting through me went unchecked. 

I followed him to the beach where he laid seth in my arms and knelt down next to me. “It'll be ok, Seth.” I whispered to him, smoothing his hair away from his face. “It'll be ok.”

Roman looked at me and smiled. “You ready?”

I nodded. Of course I was ready! 

He lifted his hand to Seth's forehead like he had done for me. There was a long moment where nothing happened and my stomach dropped. What if it didn't work? What is Seth was too far gone? He had to have been underwater for a good twenty minutes, maybe it was too long. What was I supposed to do without him? 

Then, just when I thought he was lost, a cough. Then a sputter. Then he was throwing up water and gasping for air. 

“Oh my god! Seth!” I damn near screamed, clutching him to me so tight it probably hurt him. 

“D-Dean?” 

I was crying, I'm man enough to admit that. “I thought I lost you!”

I looked at Roman, smiling at me and nodding while I held onto Seth for dear life. “Looks like I'm done here.”

“Thank you!” I said to him, so incredibly grateful. 

“Nah, it's the least I can do.” He said and winked. “You've been stuck with my demon ass for too long. I'm not a demon anymore, so I can go home.”

“You're leaving?” I asked. For as much as I wanted frank to leave me alone sometimes, I never thought I'd never see him again. 

“Don't miss me too much.” He said and pulled himself to his feet. “Besides, I don't think Roman would ha as forgiving about watching Failure to Launch as you were.”

I helped Seth to his feet and he jumped a little at the sight of Roman all angeled out. “Roman?”

“Not quite.” Frank said to him and patted him on the shoulder slightly. “It's good to have you back Seth. You take care of Dean. I won't be around to do it anymore.” 

Seth looked at me and back to the angel. “I don't understand.”

“I'll explain later.” I offered and kissed him on his still soaking wet head. Then I held out my hand to Frank and gave him my thanks. “Good luck, man.”

“Always!” He said and winked. “Oh, Roman will probably have some side effects after this. They shouldn't last long.”

“Side effects?”

“A little telekinesis never hurt anyone, right?”

I was going to say something else but there was a flash of blinding light that that's there and gone in an instant, causing Seth and I to cover our eyes. When it was over, Roman laid on his back in the sand, staring up at the sky like he was shell shocked. I gently helped Seth sit and knelt next to him. “You ok, Ro?”

“That...sucked…”

I patted him lightly on the chest. “Good to have you back, buddy.”


	19. Chapter 19

It was strange, to be human again. I wasn't really sure how to fit in my own skin anymore. It was like every cell in my body had changed and I was aware of every nuance of it. Plus, it was way too quiet without Frank around. I found myself missing the asshole, even going so far as to still order his German beer from Roman at the Powerhouse. I drew the line at watching Failure to Launch though. 

Roman had grown increasingly fun to mess with. Frank wasn't kidding when he said there would be come telekinetic side effects after being possessed by a full blown angel. These tended to come out when he was angry or overly annoyed, something I was always so good at. If I pushed just the right buttons, a bottle might fly off the shelf or a stool would overturn or a light bulb might suddenly burst. I wasn't going to get tired of it any time soon, and i’d miss it when it wore off like Frank had said it would. 

But, I can’t exactly say that everything had gotten better since the docks. Not that I expected them to, really. Seth and I now had a strained relationship that I saw coming from a mile away. I had fucked up, so it wasn't surprising when he started to pull away. At the docks, things changed. He died and was brought back. That changes a person. 

Not always for the better.

It wasn't like I expected things to go back to the way they were, that could never happen, but Seth had...well, Seth had stopped being Seth. It wasn't a right away thing, either. Right after...the incident...him and I, we were inseparable again, like old lovers. Then he started to push me away, slowly. He began by not returning my phone calls right away. I didn't think anything of it because things happen. Then he stopped calling me back all together. When I went to his apartment to talk to him, he may or may not let me in, and if he did he was so withdrawn that I could barely get a word out of him. 

He stopped going to work, he stopped coming to the bar, and he even stopped playing video games with Roman. He would just sit in his apartment and stare out the window at nothing, hair a disheveled mess, clothes that stunk from constant wear, and this distant sort of set to his eyes that I couldn't wrap my head around. It was like a slow and methodical depression had taken him over. He refused to sleep, he refused to eat, and, when questioned about it, he refused to talk other than to tell me to “fuck off”. 

Not really sure what to do, I gave him space. Thankfully, even if he wouldn't talk to me, he would still talk to Roman, so I knew he didn't just waste away in his apartment. It was killing me inside that I had done this, I had cause him to become this. 

“I think he misses you, Dean.” Roman said, pouring me a beer. I had been lost in thought for some time now, I knew that. It was tough, being alone, dealing with everything that had happened, angels and demons, Seth. 

I smiled at him, though there was no real humor behind it. It was merely a weak thanks for being there for him. I didn't care about myself, i’d been through enough shit in my life to carry on, as long as he was still breathing. For the moment, that was all I needed. 

“Maybe you should try again.” Roman offered. That look of pity in his eyes didn't seem to fit him. I missed the Roman that would make fun of me for shit like this. That's what I needed right now, not sympathy. 

“He doesn't want to see me, Ro.” I replied, sounding sadder than I had intended. “You're the only one he’ll even talk to.”

“He went through a lot, Dean.”

“Yeah, well, so have I.” A humorless laugh escaped before I could stop it. “We were fine for a while there, then he changed. What exactly does someone do when the person they would have died for pushes them away?”

“Try harder.”

I sighed. “I’m tired. Tired of all this bullshit piling up. I thought that, now that I was human again, it could all just be normal.”

“Normal?” Roman snorted a laugh and my glass moved an inch to the left. “Is that normal? What is normal when it comes to us, Dean?”

“Not much.”

“Exactly.” he said and smiled at me, a genuine sort of smile that rarely graced the face of the imposing samoan. “Why don't you go try again?”

I nodded, because, well, he was right. 

So that's what I did, though the nerves and anxiety building in my stomach when I approached his apartment door made me nauseous. I took a deep breath and knocked. There was no answer, not even to tell me to go away. I tried the knob and found it unlocked. 

“Seth?” I called gently into his, frankly, disgusting apartment. It was like he hadn't cleaned in months, old clothes thrown everywhere, dishes and trash on every surface, and a sickening smell of rotting garbage that hit my nostrils like a truck. It actually made me gag. 

How could he live like this? How could he willingly hole himself up in this place? This was a whole new level of depression I had never seen. 

“Seth? Are you here?” 

“Go away, Dean.” I heard from the bedroom. 

When I went in, ignoring his request for me to leave, I found his lying under a mound of blankets pulled up over his head. I sat down on the edge and tried to ignore how much it hurt that he curled away from me. “Seth-”

“I said, go away.”

“You're just going to shut me out completely?” I asked, probably harsher than I should have. But, fuck, this was a bad situation. 

“That's the plan.” He answered, pulling the blankets tighter around himself as if they were a force field against the rest of the world. 

“Why?” I asked, much softer, my voice cracking. “I thought -”

“You thought wrong, Dean.” 

I'd had enough of this and pulled the blankets away from him. He sat bolt upright, staring angrily at me like I had just taken his favorite toy away. He looked...he looked downright sickly, skinnier than usual, the muscle he had once had beginning to waste away. There were bags under his eyes, deep purple and more pronounced with the way he drew his brows together to glare at me. His clothes were dirty, stained, and smelled like someone who hadn't showered in days. But I didn't bring this up, that was all secondary to how he was looking at me, how his shoulders tensed, how his mouth curled down into a frown, how he closed me out with one look. It hurt. 

“You look like shit.” I said. “What have you been doing in here?”

“It's none of your fucking business!” He snapped at me and grabbed for the blankets again. I pulled them away a second time. “Stop it, Dean! Just leave!”

“No!” I replied, stern. “We've been through too much together for me to just let you do this to yourself.”

“Yeah? Well maybe that's the problem!” 

I can't say that I was surprised, but that hurt. I could see he regretted it as soon as he said it, his face softening a little after the words left his mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

I sniffed a humourless laugh, because no he wasnt. “If you have something to say to me, you should say it.”

He looked away, down to his lap where his hands were fidgeting around the string of his pajama bottoms. “I don't know if I can do this anymore...with you.”

I closed my eyes, willing back the sting of tears. “Can I ask why?”

“Nothing about us is normal.” he said. “We have been through enough trauma to break anyone. I've just reached that break. I want something else, a simple existence without angels and demons and abnormals. I thought...I thought I could do it, but I can't. Vampires, a demon king, angels...I died Dean! Does that sound like a healthy relationship?”

“You know,” I began, my voice breaking. “I went through a lot. For you. All those problems you mentioned, I did to protect you... _you_. Any you know what? I’d do it all over again, because I love you.”

He was silent, looking down at his lap as I watched his face shift with every emotion he was feeling. Regret, loss, anger, love, hope, fear. “I'm sorry, Dean.”

“So that's it then?” 

He looked up at me with wet eyes and nodded. 

“Goodbye Seth.” What else could I say? There was absolutely nothing I could do to change his mind, so I stood up, leaned over to kiss him on the forehead and try to remember just how he felt, how he smelled, how he tasted, before I walked out of his bedroom. I could hear him sobbing by the time I reached the front door and it took all my willpower not to run back to him and try to comfort those tears away. 

But there would be no comfort from me. I left his apartment and closed the door behind me, leaning against his door and sliding down the wood until I hit the floor. I made it much farther than I thought I would before I broke down, but inevitably my own tears began falling down my cheeks. 

I'd leave eventually, of course I would, but it took a long time for me to manage to pull myself up, straighten myself out, and get my feet to move one in front of the other. I tried to go back a week later, but his apartment was empty. He didn't tell anyone where he'd gone, not even Roman, he just up and left. 

The irony is I would have died for him, could have easily done it. But I was too much for him. I said before that darkness tended to follow me around and bite, hard. That wasn't an understatement. It always would hang around me like a dark cloud, suffocating me and everyone I loved. I'd just have to make the best of it, drown myself in my work, move on as best I could. Though my heart went with him, wherever he was, I wished him all the happiness he could ever want.

Because it couldn't be with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of this story! I want to thank everyone who followed along, left comments and kudos, put up with my long stretches of not updating. There will probably be a third installment, though not for a while. 
> 
> I really do appreciate everyone! 
> 
> Thank you!


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